Judge — May 20, 1922 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

——= “Ford may cross his tin Lizzie with a go-devil and get the crittur needed to lift the agricultural bloc.” EDITORIAL By Wi.iiaM ALLEN WHITE HIS MASTER MIND ENRY FORD has concentrated his master mind upon the lost motion of the farmer. In his auto- biography, which S. S. McClure is publishing in his rejuvenated magazine, Henry Ford declares that there is too much lost motion upon the American farm. Righto, Henry! But much of the lost motion is just lost, and it will do no good to advertise for it. Driving a pig through a gate requires seven thousand six hundred and eighty-two different movements of the human mind and body, and yet, with all his wisdom, Henry Ford has not yet invented an automatic pig. Nothing else will climinate those motions. Entertaining the preacher is another place where the farmer loses a lot of time and energy. Buta self-feeding preacher is beyond even Henry Ford’s inventive genius. If Henry wants to keep the boys on the farm, and reduce farm labor to joyous jazz, let him go into a corner and think up some way to teach a calf to drink out of a bucket without wearing out its ears on the hired man's hands! If he could just get some vacuum cleaner device that would start the suction in the right direction when the farmer’s boy gets the calf’s nose in the bucket, Henry would be a benefactor to mankind. But a lusty calf with a pair of leather lungs can spray over a six-foot boy and a 24 x 38 stable the contents of a bucket of skimmed milk in one good snort. It’s lost motion—lost to all time and eternity. And, if Henry Ford can go out in the barn lot and find that lost motion and harness it up to a motor, he can get power enough in a week in spring on the average farm to run the world a year. We are glad Henry Ford is considering the problems of the farm. He may cross his tin Lizzie with a go-devil and get the crittur that is needed to lift the agricultural bloc. If he can figure out that contraption he can trade it to the stand-pat Republicans for the Muscle Shoals concession. THE MISSION OF BRYAN RYAN has started out on a new crusade; this time against what he calls “Darwinism.” Ten years ago it was against militarism; twenty years ago he flashed his corn knife against imperialism, and a quarter of a century ago he attacked capitalism. America never before has had exactly the kind of a figure that Bryan is. The things that he attacks are genuine evils. Twenty-five or thirty years ago the coun- try was in real danger of plutocratic control. Rich men were too cockey in their domination of business and politics. When along came Bryan with a perfectly silly remedy—the issue of a debased currency. He never got anywhere with his remedy. But he was a John the Bap- tist in his battle against the dominance of organized wealth in American life. A few years later, America having taken the Philip- pines and Porto Rico, was hog-wild about never hauling down the flag. Bryan started a campaign to give up the Philippines and return to the isolation of the fathers. He was mad; but he did check the iniperialistic tendency of the times—for a while. Ten years ago or such a matter the world was going crazy over preparedness for war. Bryan became a howl- is comicbooks.com TS