Judge — May 6, 1922 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SL THE COLLEGE MAN By William B. Belden, Cornell '25 [ MAY not be « statesman, I may look like a tough. I'm not so good at business But man—I know my stuff! I've called the signals for the team And kicked the winning I've won six letters in m E’en though I lost my soul. I've danced with princes’ daughters, I've led the Junior Ball My name has been a password In every college hall. I've rated every honor, And now that | am through I've got an education But—there’s nothin’ I can do! I've drifted down the Rio Grande, I've bummed in fair Peru. I've got a water-soaked d But—there’s nothin’ I can do! Ambition Infuriated Prof.—Sir, you lack ambition, neentive and backbone. 1 are hopele: Do you know that when Isaac Newton was your age he had contributed two great science books to the world? Im. nt Stude—Yes, and when George Washington was your age he was president of the United States . Stanford Univ She—I'm getting so that I can drink either gin or whisky. He—The last two are all right, but for Heaven's sake lay off the ether! THE CLOTHES OF YESTERYEAR By Clyde Hyder, Drury ‘24 Masque to be hastily donned when one’s instruc- tor announces he will be unable to meet the class. She whe. by her subtle Lured to death the Where is Queen Be Who cau: Sir W Where Titania, « Where are the clothes of yest Ah, where is € And where is Ma She who by peer! Men's hearts, but lost her high dem And where is Helen, b Brought bitter strife For he with her to T Where are the clothe of yester-year? Oh, where are the clot that Cleo Clothes by the censor oft forbidden? And was she ever lightly clad, Her frocks e’er show what should hidden? (That modern ladi should be chidden For clothes they don't wear seems quite queer.) Was Cleopatra style-beridden? Where are the clothes of yester-yea Where are the clothes mothers wore? Gone, all gone, the cynics sneer. And the modern corsage shows mue h more Than that of the Lady Vi Jere Yes, fashions chang: fear, Gone is the bustle famed of yo Gone are the clothes of yester-year! that our gra Of inestimable value for one’s philosophy lectures is this raptly ce nasal clamp to Drawn by J. W. Pexcett., Cornell * Inspired by the Vogue in Masques We Suggest the Following to Help Smooth the Path to Knowledge At the class banquet this masque serves well to hold down one's reputation as a “good fellow.” FUNNY, AIN'T IT, HELEN? AY By R. B. Freeman, Amherst NLX,PEN won't write of burnished arm No 1 of ancient Greece; My pen won't sing of Venus’ charms Or pampered dames in Nice, It won't descant of proud romance And squire or king or knight, Nor versify of shattered lance And we! loody fight pen won't write of bird and flower r summer skies so blue; gh I struggle hour by hour, cat only write of you! LE, q Draw hy FRANK De U.S. Military A demy "23 First—I hear two towns out in Kan- sas are having an awful dispute over which is your birthplace—almost a civil war. Second—Yes? How come? “Why, Wichita claims you were born in Emporia, and Emporia says you were born in Wichita.” One can create a much more favorable impression by wear ing such a masque when sum. moned to appear before the Committee on Low Scholar ship This jovial masque, if applied when the Professor of Greek springs his annual jokes, will we muscular effort and facial contortion. comicbooks.com