Judge — May 6, 1922 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drawn by J. A. Hagtaett, Cornell ‘24. Voice—Then may I call you to-morrow? She—Certainly, old dear, call me anything you please. SIR GAWAINE AND THE DRAGON By Mike Ely, Stanford '24 QIR_ knights, “twas in SIR knieh was in elsh, where, as ye wot, nd many dragons and le, the more dragons. Having defeated the champion of those parts by a matter of some two quarts, I bethought me to run myself down a dragon. And so, mounting my trusty steed and girding on my new chrome vanadium tux, T called upon any and all dragons to come forth. As if in answer, there appeared the grand-daddy of all dragons. He was of a pinkish color, with wavy hair, parted in the middle. He was fully eight cubits in length, having cight legs and being equipped with & copious tail surmounted by numerous razor blades t made a hideous clanking as he walked. He had seven heads and jarge, floppy cars and blue eyes, twenty-two of which were cross-eyed. His name was Oswald. Some enterprising press agent d painted in huge letters on his back, hew Pigley'’s Gum.” I am a hardy knight yet I quaked in my iron boots. Neve: theless, I w th my trusty. bea shooter and prepared to do battle. But th monster was an evil genic. Seating himself on several of his haunches and waving his dukes, he thus addressed me: “Sir Gawaine, with one tap of my ruddy beak I ean roll thee for « loop. And yet I would sport with thee, and will let thee go if ye can defeat me in a contest of wits. Art ready? Then attend: “Where does the white go when the snow melts? “Where does the wind go when it doesn't multitude of rabbit much ale. The mo’ my brethren, “What becomes of your lap when you stand up? “How far is up? Brethren, I shook till my helmet came unwelded. I was low. I lost all interest in dragons, But then, at the moment of darkest despair, I reached into my left hip pocket, which I'had riveted on in my spare moments, and drew forth that which was mine only salvation. Drawing myself up to my full height by means of my well- oiled hinges, I thus spoke: “Hardy one, listen, and shrivel: “What is a resultant? “What is a eutectoid? “What is a derivative “What was the Clayton-Bulwar treaty? “Dragon, these be simple questions, such as the frosh answer or roll out. What do you say?” My brethren, that dragon's name was mud. Wiping fourteen eyes and blowing his fourth nose, he surrendered. And, ye doubt me, here is his autographed photo. Boy, bring me a choc malt, for I thirst. And great was the name of Sir Gawaine in those halls, and much the quafing of Scotch and the smacking of chops and the giving of Skyrockets. Expression Dorr—What's your idea of intelligence? Matt—The expression that appears on a man's face when he’s shaving his upper lip. Geo. S. Hulse, Boston U. *: Johnny “What's the matter with Johnny e wasn't fF: moted, I notice.” “Oh, he just had a’ way of letting what he was going to do interfere with what he was doing so often that it became what he hadn't done.” C. Hescheles, Stevens Tech. 25. Drawn by Herman X. Van Cort, Yale THE REASON EACH fellow’s room I enter has a pic- ture Of some most lovely Miss to gain at- tention Least it seems everyone that I might mention Is_so bedeck'd with this alluring fixture. Faith, I had no idea there were so many! Perhaps it’s because in mine there isn't any! G. W. Carmany, Amherst '23. FLUNKER'S DAILY DOZEN Wake up. Turn over to get the sun out of eyes. Wake up again. Yawn. Yawn, stretch twice, yawn. Go to sleep. Wake up. Yawn twice. Stretch. Toss shoe at roommate. 11. Inquire the time, 12. Go to sleep again. If you do these ex- ercises every morning regularly at cight Drawn by thirty, you will feel ~ Leo Sxouxin, fine when rising at Stevens Tech. eleven. After some She (after a practice they become yigs)—Jack, you a habit, and no more f if. thought need be given forget yourself. them. He—I can E F. Bissantz, think of myself Cornell "24. any old time. SPPNe Veep FORESIGHT Senior—Well, dear, why won't you marry me, after my graduation? Movie Actress—To be perfectly frank, George, I do not believe that my income is sufficient to support two. comicbooks.com