Judge — April 29, 1922 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ASummer Cruise around the Voediterranean, I T often has been suggested that one of our popu- lar Mediterranean Cruises, if scheduled for July and August, would be taken advantage of by many whose annual vacation occurs during the summer months. It is especially to meet the wishes of this large, influential and cultured class, that we have arranged for 1922 a most enchanting summer cruise to and about the fascinatingly interesting lands border- ing this famous sea, sailing from New York by specially chartered new Cunard Anchor Liner Drawn by WALLAck Rowson, The Ace of Diamonds. And constituted herself the president. There was a public health committee, “TUSCANIA”—July 5 returning Sept. 6. The itinerary covers MADEIRA— (for Gri Nice) —€ Oberammer, Rome, etc. —: Pompei ISBON—GIBRALTAR ACO, (for Monte Carlo and id Tours to the Passion Play at itzerland, Italian Lakes, Florence, ing the the DARDA- { (for Baalbek and and Jerusalem) — JARF ‘A (for Jerusalem, etc.) —ALEXANDRIA (for Cairo), ete THOS. COOK & SON 245 Broadway, New York maar esieenzt Chicago Los Angeles Philadelphia Montreal San Francisco Vancouver Boston Toronto Cook's Travelers’ Cheques Good Everywhere 150 Offices Throughout the World A committee to instruct the young in the essentials of modest dressing, A grounds committee, And numerous others. It was a hustling organization! And the hen was the head of it all. She was so eager and so willing To bring neatness and dispatch into the community That she had no time for anything clse. She ate her meals as fast as she could So that she could get to her class on Scientific Eating, and the League for Longer Life. She neglected to brush her feathers Because she was imbued with a great purpose. She neglected her husband Because she was teaching other hens how to dress on a modest income. And still the barnyard grew messier and messier. The lack of dignity and refinement which characterized the actions of the inmates continued, despite her exhortations. They paid no attention to her at all! One day— She had hied her forth to another barn- yard To see how they were handling the problems of civilization. Skin Troubles —— Soothed With Cuticura Soap, Ointment, Taieum, Be. ererzw ‘of Cuticura Laboratories, Dept. 7, She found a paradise of cleanliness, ; virtue, and social eclat. The inhabitants waited their turn to be served at meals. They behaved like ladies and gentle- men in public. They left the bathtubs as they would like to find them! She queried: “Where is your arbitrator of bon gout?” she queried. And they stared at her, and then at a boulder near by Where sat a pheasant—cool, cratic, neatly groomed, Meditating on the universe, impervious to the world about him. He had never deigned to speak to them, far less reform them. They adored him because he was every- thing they would have liked to be, And because he had an egocentric personality. They copied his external accomplish- ments with humble spirit. The result was almost a model com- munity. And the moral of this is most unmoral. HARD TO CATCH UP aristo- Wayback—The clock only registers one dollar and you want two. Taxi-driver—That clock is slow, and I have been driving very fast. SOME TOWN “Is your burgh a sporty town?” “Sure is. W' whistles, it whist Would-be Suicide — Oh, death! Where is thy sting? BREACH OF ETIQUETTE “So there was a gap in the conver- sation?” “Yes. We were all yawning.” BOOK ON DOG DISEASES And How to Feed Mailed free to any address by the Author H. CLAY GLOVER CO., Inc..