Judge — March 4, 1922 — page 35: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

(Under Contract with Bermuca Govt.) Special Easter Trip Palatial S. S. “FORT ST. GEORGE” leaves N.Y.April 8.-Arrives N.Y April 15. Fastest Steamers to Bermuda The palatial steamers of the Furness Bermuda Line land their passengers and baggage directly at Hamilton Dock, avoiding the discomforts, inconvenience and delay of landing by tender. These steamers use oil fuel. SAILINGS TWICE WEEKLY From N. Y. every Wed. & Sat. From Bermuda every Tues. & Sat. Tickets good on either steamer, Offering unequalled express service via S. S. “FORT VICTORIA” Twin-screw, 14,000 tons displacement S. S. “FORT HAMILTON” ‘Twin-screw, 11,000 tons displacement Bermuda offers all outdoor sports, including Golf, Tennis, Sailing, Bathing, Fish- ing, Riding, Driving,’ ete. No Passports— Many Modern Hotels. Write for attractive inclusive rates. FURNESS BERMUDA LINE 34 Whitehall St., N.Y. Or any Tourist Agent ames BERMUDA: LINE | himself ridiculous; the embarrassment would be all on his side. But all of a sudden he thought he saw a way out. The next day, as Professor Bowen began to read Hamlet’s soliloquy to the cheerful class, Doris again produced her bobbed-hair comb and a small mirror. Professor Bowen, of course, knew the soliloquy by heart; so, as he laid aside his book and commenced preparations for the cure, he could continue his declamation of “Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,” and all the rest of it. From his coat pocket he took a shining new mirror, from his vest pocket he produced a bobbed-hair comb. And then he began parting, combing and arranging his heavy, rather long black hair—one might perhaps say, his flowing mane. And then his moustache. Naturally, after their first gasps of astonishment, the class laughed up- roariously. Then they clapped. Doris became conscious that something was happening. So did five other bobbed- hair combers. And then— Well, after that, Shakespeare began to have a chance. QUESTION “We could be invaded through Mexico.” “Who'd leave a wet country to come over here?” Sex Statistics—If all the red paint a woman uses in thirty years was put together it would paint 631 barns. Cuticura Soap —The Healthy — Shaving Soap Cuticura Soap shaves without mug, Everywhere 25c. Medium—Your departed husband is | now speaking. Widow—Which one—Tom, Dick or Harry? Of course, it can’t be Harry, as he was only divorced. Wit and Wisdom of Children HARD ON THE JUDGE Little Dora said her Sunday School lesson perfectly. Her teacher gave her a reward card, and she put it on the seat beside her while she was put- | ting on her gloves. Judge Moore came in. Big, pom- pous, important and very moment | minded, he took up Dora’s treasured card, fingered it a moment, folded it | carefully, and put it in his pocket. Dora watched him in amazement, but not having courage to speak to the great man, she walked sadly home. Her mother asked: “Did you know your lesson?” . “Yes, mother; and my teacher gave le Mr. Boa Constrictor—I notice you are advertising for bids on a new house; here’s my card. I’m consid- ered one of the best constructors in this neck of the woods. 31 ‘a4 For sixty years the one best glycerine soap ath rogi or wash rom which contains No. 4711 White Rose Glycerine alone’ Such a delightful sensation of mildness in its use! Such richness of purifying, creamy lath a faint, agreeable perfume, No wonder this soap is found wherever particular people make their ablutions. Take a cake home to-day,—or a box Your favorite shop has it. 7) Lc 91 1ou will also enjoy the use of: come in seven oy exaust Its for softening the water LHENS & KROPEF, Inc. Made in U.S. 25 W. 45th St. Copy this Sketch, personal individual 1 fessons b br wail more per week wet mal Landon, Picture 483 National Bldg. ‘ me a card and Judge Moore wrinkled it up and put it in his pocket.” “Oh, well, he did not know it was yours.” The next Sunday was rainy, and as | Dora started to Sunday School her mother said: “Now, Dora, take this umbrella and be sure you bring it back.” When the child returned her mother asked: “Did you bring home my um- brella?” “Yes,” was the reply, “and I kept it in my hand all the time after Judge Moore came in.” THE DIFFERENCE The Williams family, Christian Scientists, owned a number of goats. One fall, some of them became so sickly that Mr. Williams was obliged to call a doctor to attend to them. “Why,” said a neighbor to five-year- old Willie, “I thought you people were Christian Scientists?” “Oh, we are!” he replied; “but the pet are ‘goats are Baptists.” ‘ad Vreverytia aj Radio Headquarters. -couraes ‘of ingeration “tatudy at Some "or fp Washington), wireless intraments, bow to get radi certs, ines, free informaticy ‘SUeeeasaueationse What ure seu istereated i NATIONAL RADIO INSTITUTE Dept. 1039 Radio Headquarters Washington,D.C. BIG MONEY 2 £1." cre Say dale etakin WES MicAN MONOGRAM