Judge — February 25, 1922 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“He may be a good blind man, but he’s a darned poor musician!” Show Your Colors By Ex.is ParKeR BUTLER T IS reported that a certain organi- zation of ladies is preparing a flag to be placed in the windows of all those who obey the Amendment pro- hibiting the use of liquids with a kick. It is to be a white star on a blue ground, with appropriate lettering, which may be paraphrased: “No booze used here; we respect the Constitu- tion.” This is an excellent idea, but it does not go far enough. There may be some citizens who will not have a flag in the window and whose status may be in doubt. To avoid this, I suggest that all those who still have a bottle or two left hang in their windows a red flag, on which shall be a full moon—with the accent on the “full”—and the words, “Moon-shine here.” The idea of a blue flag with a white star to indicate the home of one who respects the Constitution is admirable, but it does not go far enough. What we need is a variety of service flag with room for many more stars than one. On this could be sewn a star for each law the inmates obey. In my win- dow, for instance, the flag could have the star meaning, “I do not commit burglary.” A burglar would not sew that star on his flag. He might have the “I do not commit bigamy” star and the “I do not use hooch” star, but he would not be entitled to use the “I do not commit burglary” star until he had reformed. This system would be of the utmost interest to everyone town. By walking along the street and observing the flags I could know all about my neighbors. I need only check up Henry Brown’s stars to know whether he beats his wife or not. If he did not dis- play the “I do not beat my wife” star, I would know he did beat his wife. In this way everyone could pry into every other person's affairs from the sidewalk, which is a much easier way than is the usual over-the-back-fence snooping method. It would also make things much easier for the police. The time has arrived when this “flag in the window” method should be THE PRIMAL URGE “Young man, before things go any further, in I must ask you what you mean by spending every evening with my daughter. intentions serious?” “Well—er—to tell the truth, sir, it’s so cold everywhere else, and you keep it so nice and warm here, that I simply can’t resist the opportunity!” Are your more widely adopted. The Mind- Other - People’s - Business societies have reached a point where they can with difficulty be more obnoxious un- less they know more of our private affairs. I suggest an Amendment to the Constitution compelling all inhabi- tants to display in their windows flags indicating everything. Let all be known. Let us have a “We eat no pork in this house” flag, and a “We eat fish on Friday” flag. We must have a “The head of this house smokes a pipe” flag, in order that those not displaying the flag may be hooted out of the community. Civilization is progressing. It is rushing ahead on the big cir- cular track, and it is almost ready to scoot down the home-stretch to the good old starting-post of In- quisition, bigotry and _ thumb- screws. But who cares? If we can’t have Three Star in the cellar, we can have one star in the win- dow. That ought to satisfy any- body. What’s a couple of stars more or less among minorities? They've no rights. HIS COMPLIMENT He (on rather crowded ball- room floor)—TI’d like nothing better than strict traffic rules around here. She—And why? “Then I'd have the number of the sweet young thing who collided with us a moment ago.” A DRUGGIST’S BLUNDER “Guess I made a bad mistake just now,” said the druggist. “Fatal?” “Not necessarily. Girl wanted a grand opera record and I gave her a speech by Wm. J. Bryan.”