Judge — January 28, 1922 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

With THE ESCAPE “This lets me out,” said the convict as he swiped the key from his jailer’s pocket.—Amherst Lord Jeff HOWSAT? “Shay, did you see me come in?” The other chap replied, “Yes, I saw you come in.” “Well—hic!—ever see me before?” “No, I never saw you before.” “Then—hic-—-how did you know it was me?"—Syracuse Orange Peel. A WINNER Father (reading a letter from his son at college to mother)—Myopia says he's got a beautiful lamp from boxing. Mother—I just knew he'd win some- thing in his athletics—Oregon Ag Orange Owl. CONFESSION Spoof—Hey, what's the idea watch ing the library steps all day? Goof—Oh, merely a matter of form —Oregon Lemon Punch. A handsome young feller named Smith Once asked a sweet maid for a kith; She replied with a nod, Then lithped, “O, my God, I wonder if heaven's like thith!” —Carnegie Puppet. the Irrepressible, Colle Joyous, = She (talking of pure thought)—Now, really, don't you think girls have cleaner minds than men? He—Yes, I suppose so. But they ought to; look how often they change them.—Princeton Tiger. GOING IN ON THIS? UDGE’S annual College Wits number will be published early in May, 1922. The competition for its rewards will be fierce. So you young artists and writers who in- tend to win representation should get busy. All matter intended for that number must be in hand early A handsome silver cup in March. for the best art feature, another for the best literary feature, and the College that makes the best show- ing wins the massive silver trophy won first by Cornell and last March by Columbia. All matter accepted will be paid for. REVEALED I asked her if she rolled them, She said she'd never tried. Just then a mouse ran swiftly by, And now I know she lied. —Washington Sun Dodger. DRINKING SONG There's H,O in the ocean, There's H,O in the sea, And the last two years there's been nothing But H.O in me. —Princeton Tiger. CANDOR Freshman—Well, barber, how long will I have to wait for a shave? Paul—Oh, about three years.—Notre Dame Juggler. ge Wits Irresponsible THE INTERLOPER “In time of trial,” said the preacher, “what brings us the greatest comfort?” “An acquittal,” responded a person who should never been admitted.— Stanford Chaparral. NO DIFFERENCE Jazz—My girl told me she weighed 120 the other night. Beau—Stripped? “Yeh; she was in an evening gown.” —Ohio Sun Dial. OBVIOUSLY Interviewer — What sort of girls make the best show-girls? Stage Manager—Those who have the most to show, of coursc!—Darr- mouth Jack O'Lantern. NAUTICAL SUGGESTION “Terribly rough,” said the stranger on board the ocean liner “Well,” said the farmer. “it wouldn't be near so rough if the captain would only keep in the furrows.”"—Virginia Reel. UM! She (tenderly)—And are mine the only lips you have kissed? He—Yes, and they are the sweetest of all—Columbia Jester. He—You look almost sweet enough to kiss. She (shyly)—I intended to look bet- ter than almost.—Stanford Chaparral.