Judge — January 21, 1922 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Well, I s’pose so. i A Palm Beach Discovery "THOSE swaying, enticing palm trees, exquisitely expressive! Those waves curling ever and over, those beach! The call of the hot sands calling, calling! Should I an- | swer, should I simply walk out of that i } cold apartment, turn a very cold shoul- der on the kitchenette, ignore the dumb appeal of the dumbwaiter, and go? Actually, it would take only a minute to reach the avenue, signal a taxi, and the journey would begin. I remembered that the train left in eighteen minutes, and I had just time! Should I do it? All I needed was the money! WW Once more I took the nozzle off the radiator. I suppose there is nothing that makes one think of Palm Beach } so much as a cold radiator. However, a} the experienced New York tenant learns the certain things that can be done, such as hammering on the cold pipes with the cast iron book-end, b which does help (so wonderful is exer- cise), and putting on all one’s clothes | | and crouching over the electric toaster. Thus fortified against refrigeration I picked up the Sunday supplement and sought distraction in the illustrations. The uncanny fascination of the Palm Beach pictures therein proved irresist- } ible, and I looked them over carefully | in the hope of finding one face, at least, WHERE THE PALMS FLOURISH Wife—Don’t you think we'd better turn and go back now? . . But every time you ‘turn round’ in this resort it costs you something!” registering dissatisfaction. Imagine my surprise when I discovered a familiar figure there on the Palm Beach sands actually talking and laughing at or with Mayor Hylan! Now at last it was all clear to me. The cold facts were absolutely convincing. No won- der the hot water was frozen! There at Palm Beach, palming himself off as a regular person, was my janitor. It made me hot just to look at him. E. K. JEALOUSY “If you don’t like Bridget’s cooking why did you bribe her to leave Kitty’s kitchen?” “Just because she suited Kitty.” TOO MUCH PUBLICITY “His wife destroyed Mr. Statesman’s career by telling his ambition all over town.” “Another fond hope chattered!” IN SEARCH OF FREEDOM “Is Gayboy going to leave the coun- try?” “Apparently. He took his favorite punchbowl along with him.” GOING IT ALONE “Every woman should learn to drive a car.” “Don’t you believe it, my boy! Since my wife picked it up I never get a chance at the machine.” 6 A Ballade of Escape By Berton Braley (With apologies to Chesterton) ‘THis talk of Bergson and of Freud, Of D. H. Lawrence and of Moore, May be a pleasure unalloyed To those who like such literature; For “To the pure all things are pure,” But to my mind that type of drool Has little savor, little lure— Let’s go and play a game of pool! Much Rabelais have I enjoyed, Droll Stories, too, I find a cure For fits of blues; I don’t avoid Boccaccio; I can endure Rough bar-room tales that aren’t de- mure; But from these modern you'll Excuse me, though I seem a boor— Let’s go and play a game of pool! “realists” Take me away from minds employed In talk of smelly art that’s “newer,” I will not further be annoyed, I'll go where “modern minds” are fewer; Where air with smoke grows ever bluer, And men’s deep laughter is the rule, And talk is healthier—and truer— Let’s go and play a game of pool!