Judge, 1922-01-14 · page 8 of 36
Judge — January 14, 1922 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This page from *Judge* magazine contains two satirical pieces: **"The Way of It"** (poem by Battell Loomis): A commentary on American success culture, mocking passivity and promoting aggressive self-promotion. It celebrates "go-getters" who seize opportunities without waiting, using dismissive terms ("blimp," "boob") for hesitant people. The satire appears to target both excessive ambition and timid inaction. **"The Home Stretch"** (story by Katherine Negley): Satirizes the popular "self-help" movement of the early 20th century. Walter Horace takes a mail-order efficiency course teaching that confidence alone conquers obstacles. The story shows this working absurdly well—until he's caught speeding and fined anyway, deflating the self-help promise. **"Opportunity Knocks"**: A brief joke about movies' cultural dominance, showing how even wealthy people (movie millionaires) buy labor-saving devices primarily to free time for cinema—satirizing cinema's grip on American leisure time. The cartoons mock both earnest self-improvement culture and American hustle mentality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Way of It By Battell Loomis AFTER all— It isn’t what you're getting, It’s what you're going to get That counts! Rather small Is the blimp who’s always fretting That he lacks time to set And pounce! Thus ’tis so That luck will always fly him, He'll never be a guy Of note! Don’t you know The boob who lets get by him The things he ought to try *Za goat! Only one— He runs the elevator— Should depend on Fate And pull! Others, son, Apply their own gyrator To throwing a mean gait And bull! Oh, Go-getters Don’t wait for the train or Ship, by aeroplane They jog! So no fetters Ever can restrain or Delay them. They’ve got brain And dog! Drawn by Ant HELFANT. “She devoured the latest novel.” The Home Stretch By Katherine Negley WA&LtLTER HORACE took an effi- ciency course by mail, and he learned that self-assurance will carry one through anything. The first time he tried it was when he was passing through a crowd. He squared his shoulders, looked every- one jn the eye and moved as if he had the right of way. The crowd parted respectfully, and he marched by like a conquering hero. There was a great speaker in town, and no one was to hear him except those who were invited. Walter Horace was not invited, but he took two friends, told the doorkeeper who he was, said he wanted the best seats in the house, and the ushers bustled about to place him. He wanted to go through a motion picture studio. He handed the di- rector his card and asked to be shown through immediately. The director thought he was some screen potentate, and he was passed through. He was speeding along the boule- vard, the traffic man stopped him and asked him to appear in Court the next morning. He looked the Judge straight in the eye, according to in- structions, told him a long story about the reason he was speeding, and waited to be allowed to go. The Judge did not interrupt him, but when he had finished he said: “Your fine is twenty dollars. Pay as you go out!” OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS “You say the movies made a million- aire of Prouty? I thought he sold dishwashers.” “That’s just it. They buy his ma- chine so they can wash the dinner dishes and get to the movies sooner.” If they can do it, why can’t we? 6 comicbooks.com :