Judge — December 31, 1921 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Woo MAYCLESE*DESIGN SLABLE QA” $9690 , CovcoknGuur 38 fish? ™ Concgne uur 36° high seat The cushion is 852° extra in your material BRADFORD ) We are specialists increating Quaintly designed | Rooms and unusual pieces,done in the style of our early American home-builders and cabinet- makers. Careful attentionto form and workman~ ship makes our furniture much sought after by those desiring individual things at a moderate price. MAYCLES 331 MADISON AVENUE N TION FigFURNITURE ECS Editor—Why, this book was written by Convict 97423. Ex-Convict—Yeah! name. Dat’s me pen REEL TRYING Friend—Did you allow Miss Sweet to resign? Director—Yes. She was a fine girl, but I grew tired of trying to screen her faults. Cuticura Soap Suggests Efficiency Soap, ‘alcum,26e.everywhere. For: Boe onemaia Laboravorios, Dept 7 htalden, Mase, Give Us This Day Our Daily Dozen By Lynbrook Barry (With apologies to Walter Camp) 7:00 A.M.—Without warning, Big Ben calls. ist Movement: Push blan- ket down. Sit up straight. Yawn once to left—once to right. Pull blanket back towards head of bed. Let body relax. :15 A.M.—(Voice from downstairs) : “John, it’s a quarter past seven. You'll be late again! John, do you hear me? J-o-h-n!! You lazy good-for-nothing! Get up this minute!” 2d Movement: Snap out of it with a sudden start. “I hear you calling me.” Throw blanket to side with left hand. Close window with right. :16 A.M.—3d Movement: Pivot to tight, throwing both legs so that feet hit the deck. Come to stand- ing position. Raise arms upward, as you take a deep yawn. Repeat until you regain consciousness. 7:18 A.M.—4th Movement: Bend trunk forward and reach out for bathrobe. Snap into it. Take short run to bathroom. :19 A.M.—Sth Movement: Grasp shaving brush with right hand and prepare lather. Grip free end of strop between teeth and run razor up and down strop by using available hand. Alternate 28 movement of hands. Then re- verse and speed up lather and strop movements. Shave! 7:25 A.M.—6th Movement: Turn on cold shower. Snap under it. Shimmey profusely or shiver. If you prefer the Toddle, the exer- cise is optional. 7:30 A.M.—7th Movement: Snap into clothes. Crawl under dresser for lost collar button. Finish dress- ing. 7:40 A.M.—8th Movement: Rush downstairs for breakfast. Hurdle wrinkles in living-room rug ‘to avoid tripping. Bid the Mrs. a top o’ the morning. Toss in two four-minute eggs in three seconds. Grab a roll with left hand and a cup of coffee with the right. Gulp! 7:45 A.M.—9th Movement: Rush to hat rack. Pick off your brown derby. 7:46 A.M.—10th Movement: Toss the wife a so-long smack! 7:461%4 A.M.—11th Movement: Dash for the street car. Take running hop, step and a jump and swing aboard the platform. Move for- ward to center of car. Commence swinging exercises with the other strap hangers. 8:00 A.M.—12th Movement: Sprint to the office and arrive as usual, just —on the dotted line with the rest of the daily dozens. comicbooks.com