Judge — December 31, 1921 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Of course, my boy, when I was your age I sowed a few wild oats.” “You're a lucky beggar to have had your fling before oats got so beastly tame.” HER SELECTION Mabel—How ever did you make up your mind to marry George instead of John? Helen—Very simple. I went out with each on a dark day. John said: “It looks like rain, but we'll take a chance.” George said: “It looks like rain. We'll take a taxi.” THE YOUNG IDEA “Whose room are you making the rug for?” asked a little girl of her mother. “Why, this is for my room, and I'm making it real nice, and it’s more for looks than to be walked on.” “Well, you better put it under the bed, then.” Her Vanity Case By Pearl Whitney WHEN she stopped at the market, or paid social calls, She took out her vanity case, She used it in old university halls, While they lectured on Ein- stein and space; And entering church, as she dropped on her knees, She’d powder her nose just a bit, if you please, And her cheeks would grow pinker by several degrees When she took out her vanity case. Men hustled her furniture out of the fire; She took out her vanity case And sat on the curb as the flames mounted higher And daintily fixed up her face; The house was insured, never mind if it burned, The firemen and neighbors seemed too much con- cerned! To bear things with calmness was easily learned When she took out her vanity case. But one day she died, and her kindred all said, “Shall we take out her vanity case, Or leave it with her in the coffin? Though dead She'll rise from her burial- place And restlessly wander for many a year With groanings and moanings to find it, we fear; No, let us make sure in some happier sphere She can take out her vanity MISUNDERSTOOD Patron—Have you frog legs? Waitress—Quit your kidding, and give your order. PREPARATION “Jones seems to be cultivating a foreign accent. “Yes. He intends to become a socialist speaker. Jonah goes with a bird to visit the sage of Mulberry Bend comicbooks.com