Judge — December 17, 1921 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TS superb flavor and blending qualities make your “private stock” last longer and taste bet- ter, too And, as an appetizer —well, just try it! “Original Recipes” —Our new booklet, sent free for your er Neouguiy Seteurent & Wine Co TT West B'way, N.Y. Local Distsibators | Desired ‘ No Monkey Glands for Me By William L. Curtin I WOULD not have a monkey gland Transplanted into me For fear I’d join the ring-tailed band That’s always up a tree. And thoughts of hatch Forever in my mind, And make me blink and screech and scratch Within some fronded blind cocoanuts might Where serpents twine in glist’ning coils And panthers leap in play, As tigers claw the jungle spoils. No monkey glands, I'll say! Perchance some anthropoidal pep Would tempt me scale the heights Of impropriety—a step To restless days and nights. The fear of orang chatter shrill And long and hairy hands, Prehensile tail and blunted will Would hold me from the glands. If science offered ninety years’ Extension of my life, With laughter in the place of tears And not one hour of strife, I would not take her offer smug Nor barter life, in sooth, To wear a grinning gibbon’s mug Along with monkey youth. Skin Tortured Babies Sleep Mothers Rest After Cuticura Soap Ointment, Talcam 2S everywhere, Forsarples HcuraLaboratories, Dept 7, Maldon, Mass Curly By. Marie Tello Phillips ECOLLECT When we were kids, The tiny black puppy With curly hair, That had whooping-cough, And old dog Fan, his mother? They followed Dad and Jack To work one day, And when they were crossing A great wide street, A long lumber wagon With wheels far apart, Crushed poor tiny Curly? And Dad and Jack Carried the dying puppy, And laid him down on the grass, While Fan, his old mother, Lay down beside him Lapping him with her tongue And grieving over her baby, Took his breath as he died, And was sick for three months With the whooping-cough, Recollect? Ee peel ON IT name y name y name PISO'S SAFE AND SANE For Coughs & Colds This syrup is different from all others. Pleasant—pives quick relief. Contains 190 opiates—good for young and old. 55¢ per bottle everywhere BLISTERED HANDS Cop—How do you know the men who stole your car were profes- sionals? Motorist — Because could have started it. no amateur If Santa Claus | lived in pre-historic times. SOME CAPACITY Johnnie and his mother were on a visit to Johnnie’s grandmother. Grand- mother, knowing how well he liked cake, decided to see that he had as much as he wanted. Mother watched him a long time | and then asked, “Johnnie can you still swallow cake?” The reply came in a weak voice: | “No'm, but I can still chew.” SUSPICIOUS “I am afraid Jack’s married life is not going to be particularly happy.” “What makes you think so?” “I was watching the bride’s family all through the marriage ceremony, and they looked too darned cheerful | to suit me.” <0 “Convenient to Everywhere” RITTENHOUSE HOTEL 22d & Chestnut Sts. Philadelphia , Pa. Rooms hot and oma water GB UP $2.50 oF Club Breakfast. 50¢ up Sp 9 Rooms with bath on which you or periodical of searched. Term: comicbooks.com