Judge — November 12, 1921 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DIGMONDS W TCHES\\\\ili/i/ on CREDIT AC es Solid 18-« White Gold, engra looks like genuine Platinum. ye ‘movement razor for 30 da’ Bie i youdootlike itreturn it. St MORE COMPANY, Dept. 495, St. Louis, ROMEIKE’S {8"53 pings which may appear about, Terms pi HENRY ROMEIKE 106-110 Seventh Avenue searched, New York Dr. Monk—What's the trouble, Mr. Ostrich? The Patient—Oh, doctor, I was eat- ing my dinner and swallowed the spoon —and now I can’t stir! Science “Does your doctor believe in change of climate?” “Indeed he does. scribes it.” “Where does he send his patients?” “Nowhere. He keeps them at home. He tells them to stay right here where they are, and the climate He always pre- will change for them in less than a | all the talking points.” week.” The Matrimonial Remedy (Many divorces have been caused by the unsympathetic lights in the home. Soft, harmonious lights will keep peace.—Pro- fessor Luckiesh.) By La ToucHE HANCOCK MADELINE, my teeth I’m grit- ting, And I’ve borne this much too long, For the light, in which you’re sitting, Is domestically wrong! Don’t you know that some divorces For this reason have occurred? Though between us that, of course, is Quite absurd! Madeline, don’t you remember What a rosy atmosphere In our courtship last November Permeated us, my dear? In the moonshine you were charming, But in this distressing light You look really most alarming— Quite a fright! That blue lamp may be the fashion, But it drives romance away, And it puts me in a passion With its paralyzing ray. Chime in—do—somehow or other! Light the chandelier? Great Scott! I would send you home to mother On the spot! You should pose in something mel- low Of a silken shade of gold, Now—excuse me—you look yellow, And some forty-five years old! | When, my life-light, you are resting In a garish discord veiled, You’re a (though, of course, I’m jest- ing) “Light That Failed”! Alimony “T have just heard some good news.” “Is that so? What was it?” “My wife got a divorce!” “Did the judge give her alimony?” “T hope he did, I won’t.” Discriminative “Do you play golf on the Sab- bath?” “No, sir; I prefer to play when the | links aren’t crowded.” The Volstead Urge “When I asked Black to let me smell the hair tonic he wanted to sell me, he laughed at me.” “You don’t sample hair tonic by smelling it any more. You taste it.” At the Golf Club “IT notice Bim’s wife has taken up the game. How is she getting on?” “Fine! She has already acquired 30 | BAD ; BREAKS |@4 LIFE IS CHEAP IN ERIE—“The nineteen game cocks, taken by state police last Saturday night TOGETHER WITH FORTY SPECTATORS, WERE KILLED yesterday afternoon by John Doyle, who was selected by the humane agent.”—Erie (Pa.) Daily Times. (F. H. Suhanek.) A VOICE FROM THE DEAD—“Prince Krapotkin, DECEASED but a few weeks ago, lectures in New York, to An- archists, prophesying that twentieth century will be marked by uprisings.” —Pittsburgh Dispatch. (K. With- erom.) No DetaiL oF DAMAGE—“Tom Padgitt at his residence, Columbus and Fourteenth streets, WAS DAMAGED to the extent of about $700 BY FIRE, at 4:30 Friday morning.”—Waco (Tex.) Times Herald. (Morris I. Rosenberg.) CLEVER FootworkK—“At the left, you see him in his garden wielding a garden hose; at the right, a close- up portrait, and below, he is manu- facturing levers of a hand-made trac- tion engine WITH HIS BARE FEET.”’— New York American. (George Banerls.) METALLIC RuBIES—“The Russian Soviet government has agreed to pay Esthonia 15,000,000 RUBIES IN GOLD, as part of the peace agreement be- tween the two countries.”—Pitts- burgh Press. (Louis Artuso.) PANDORA’S Box—“A box of odd PIECES OF JEWELRY, SUCH AS CUFF LINKS, PINS, COMBS, SWEATERS AND HATS was displayed yesterday by Mrs. Lucetta Higgenbaum.”—Denver (Colo.) Times. (Miss Anne Minne- man.) DIFFICULT TUMBLING—“The cast is excellent. Miss Reed does splendid work IN A TRIPLE ROLL which is most exacting.”—New York Tribune. (S. C. Connolly.) Don’t Wear a Truss Brooks’ Appliance, the modernscientific invention, the wonderful new discovery that, relieves rupture, be sent} ontrial. NOobnoxious springs| or pads. MR. C. E. BROOKS: > I. Brooks’ Rupture Appliance Has automatic Air Cushions, Binds and draws the broken n parts together as you would a broken limb, No salves. No lies. Durable, cheap. Sent on trial to prove it. Protected by U. S. patents, Catalog and measure blanks mailed free. Send name and address today. Brooks Appliance Co., 409D State St., Marshall, Mich, comicbooks.com