Judge — November 12, 1921 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Private Stocks last twice as long and taste much bet- ter when blended with this delightful drink. For cocktails— superb! “Original Recipes” our new booklet that tells Aow—sent free upon request. Jieouquiry Restaurant & Wine 476 W ye N The Third Eye (Continued from page 20) of Bunkdustani who reigned about five hundred years ago who issued his celebrated dictum that “Public office is a private snap.” He was beheaded for practicing what he preached. The Punkblab himself had written this constitution for his subjects, and it contains many wise provisos, some of which have lately crept into our jurisprudence. Article XII, for instance, prohibits bathing except for medicinal and non- cleansing purposes. The tub in which the bather immerses himself is to contain only one-half of one per cent. of pure running water, the rest to consist of dishwater. This article was followed by provisions for strict pen- alties for those caught boot-legging a bath in a river or on the seacoast. That history repeats itself is a commonplace, but the soul of the wise and unfortunate Punkblab of Bunk- dustani goes marching on. UR wise and beneficent witch- hunters have turned their altru- istic activities in the direction of the LEARN PIANO! This Interesting Free Book FREE BOOK and complete plece in eve fasy to understand. Full old or young’ ie GA-pawe free book, “How to Learn INN co! olumbia Roa piano or Oras. \SERVATORY, Studio sw-31, id, Boston, 25, PITY THE POOR ELEPHANT 4 To be tidy, for their pants Always bag about the knees Making them quite ill at ease. If their trousers could be creased, They’d feel happier at least. And if trunks were ironed as well Elephants would be quite swell! ; morals of “movie” actors and ac- , tresses. An incident or two in Cali- fornia has attacked their nostrils. The ladies and gentlemen of the celluloids are under suspicion. It | seems they do not lead the sedate and cleanly lives of brokers, rug-beaters, Congressmen, automobile manufac- turers and proofreaders. They—the movie folk—have made big money so fast that they actually spend it as they see fit. And what is more—and that is the flagrancy of it all—they enjoy themselves every hour in the twenty-four when not working! Drawn by EMMETT WATSON. 23 {}LEPHANTS don’t have a chance | “Convenient to Everywhere” RITTENHOUSE HOTEL 22d & Chestnut Sts. Philadelphia , Pa. Rooms hot and cola water GB UP Rooms with bath GB5Q UP Club Breakfast, 50c up Special Luncheon. 90c Evening Dinner, ‘$1.25 As well as service a la carte ‘Sensational new chart system teaches Gare Sscceafally at home. "Exclusive Moot dit its aamve sire en Your feet —bg ‘of instructions, carga, ete Features dances forall bepinners-chiaren, scat, and the latent sociely navanced ste ‘end posteard with your name, for TOG seeerpton ot hia merveious system. Thousands have learned thi way. Success guaranteed, Spec INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL ef DANCING Deoe 161 t Why can’t these folk live like other ordinary get-rich-quickers? The broker, the Congressman, the rug-beater, the automobile manufac- turer, the proofreader, the soft-drink magnates as soon as they are free of the cares of the day give up an hour or two to meditation. Their evenings are given over to Good Works, their Sundays to uplifting and upheaving. Is it not true that every Congress- man, for instance, is working night and day for our invalided heroes? Do not all rich rug-beaters take an orphan from Austria and teach him or her the heroic private lives of George Washington and Alexander Hamilton? Every moving picture actor you see is on his way to an orgy. Shame! Shame! Husband: I see that the Soviet Government is trying to place an order in this country for five hundred thousand boxes of soap. . . “But I thought the very idea of soap was distasteful to the Russians.” “That’s true, but they are badly in need of the boxes for their orators.” comicbooks.com