Judge — October 29, 1921 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Guests S By NATHANIEL ,? L. FosTER XUESTS are persons who would like to be at home, who are staying at the houses of other persons calléd Hosts, who would like to have them go there. Neither guest nor host, how- ever, knows how to accomplish this desirable end. This is because each mistakenly thinks the visit is giving great pleasure to the party of the other part, and that its termination, instead of being hailed with glad, though secret, huzzas, will cause pain, The only way to prevent or ameli- orate this sad situation is to make all invitations absolutely definite as to beginning and end. The host who words an invitation thus: “Come when you can and stay as long as possible,” though not meant to be taken literally, if indeed taken at all, deserves all that comes to him. Of course, there are plenty of ex- ceptions to the above definition. There are guests who have no de- sire whatever to leave—professional guests. There ure also hosts whose “Oh, my dear! I know you are suffering horrors! two doctors and a specialist working on him? my dear—lI’ve been through the same wretched experience! are the worst thing in the world for a Pomeranian!” family atmosphere is such as to make the presence of a guest, no matter how dull or otherwise undesirable, an improvement, softening for a time at least, the edge of the family contacts. With respect to the entertainment of guests, there is considerable question whether the American or English method is more effective in terminating the it, which, it must be borne in mind, is the ultimate ob- ject of all entertainment of guests. The American method consists in the attempt to tire out the guest by ceaseless attentions and suggestions. The English method is to let the guest severely alone in the hope that after a decent interval he will de- part unperceived, thus obviating the necessity of asking him to come again. Neither method is uniformly effective, however. Some guests are merely encouraged by attentions, and prolong their stay while the atten- 4 tions last ; while others thrive on the let-alone method. In such cases the methods should obviously be reversed. The only sure way to avoid guests is to live in a tent. The Bright Side “The slump in business doesn’t seem to worry MacTavish in the least.” “On the contrary, he’s tickled to death because he has so much mere time for golf.” Wilful Cruelty Bilton—What do you consider the meanest act a man can do a woman? Mrs. Bilton—Will her a fortune payable at the age of 35. Yes, I know—you have It’s perfectly appalling, Marshmallows