Judge — October 15, 1921 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Lene EXAMINATION QUES TIONS Will the Dill Pickle Ever Come Back? By BENJAMIN DE CASSERES A Tale of a Tub HAT is civilization? W Some will say it is the ability to eat peas with a fork without spilling one. Another will say it is the observance of Sun- day as a day of sleep. Still a third may aver that it is only a difference between a breech cloth and a pair of pants. It is none of these. Civilization rises and falls with the porcelain bathtub. Wherever you find a bathtub you will find civilization. Suppose you landed on a desert isle and found nothing there but a fine white bath- tub. There is no other object in ex- istence that would tell such a com- plete tale—not even an abandoned still or a monocle. That is the reason I cannot call Bob Rogeen in William H. Hamby’s story, “The Desert Fiddler” (Double- day, Page & Co.), a civilized man. Bob is a grand old sport, but I can nowhere find where he bathed, or whether he ever imported a tile bath- tub for use when he bought the Chandler farm, over the Mexican border. I have lived in Mexico, and I know the bathtub down there is totally unknown. Fleas and booze a-plenty, but bathtubs—never! Bob cleans up border politics, fights the Mexican government, routs out Reedy Jenkins and cops off Imogene. But did he have a tiled bathtub on his farm? I'll have nothing to do with heroes who do not bathe once a day in a tile tub. I do not go so far as to insist that the heroes of novels should have shower baths or rubber mitts or rub their body with eau de quinine or have military hair brushes. But I insist on civilized heroes. T insist on a tile tub. Hereafter no book will be reviewed on this page whose hero does not bathe at least once a day in a tile tub. Switzer’s Soap A DVERTISING is a fact in nature. 5 Whatever is is an advertise- ment. The face advertises the mind. Flowers advertise arable land. The moon is an advertisment for Ice; the sun for light, heat and power. ‘“Ham- let” advertised Shakespeare. Ein- stein advertises relativity. John D. is an ad. for longevity. Blue Bowlby is an ad. for tolerance (he doesn’t know this). The Volstead law has been the biggest ad. that whiskey, wine and beer ever received. Your books advertise your mind. Your cigarettes advertise your pocketbook. Mr. Hearst is the press agent for Japan and England. I insist on put- ting my full name on everything I write—that’s my ad. Don’t tell me you don’t advertise, my protesting yeader. Why, your very modesty is written in display type on your phiz. You can’t get away from it. And I’m glad to see my old col- league, Maurice Switzer, agrees with me. He has written a crackerjack romance of the advertising game in “Trying It on the Dog’? (Bobbs- Merrill). It is a story of how Nexo soap was gotten over by “trying it en the dog’—literally. Mr. Switzer has scrambled together in his bock philosophy, horse sense, romance, soap, humor, the gals, autos and sup- pers. You must be interested in sell- ing something—even if it’s only your good nature and a winning business smile. This book ought to be your guide and friend. I not only recom- mend it, but I have actually read it from cover to cover—which is an ex- traordinary feat for a book reviewer in these tropical August days. Write an ad. about yourself. If you don’t succeed at first, fail, fail again. Mr. Switzer’s book will give you the Big Angle. Camping In Benaway—We missed you at the Summer camp. Intowne—I camped at home. I took off the window screens and let in the flies and mosquitos, stopped taking ice and the morning paper and then dumped a bucketful of sandy muck in the bath tub with some de- cayed vegetables, a broken bottle and a dead fish. Really, it was just like the old Summer camp.” 34 Business Will Boom and factories reopen—but more money: will be needed to enable the wheels of industry and commerce to turn at full Spi THELEGION OF DOLLAR SAVERS (a squad in every home) offers an opportunity to every man, woman and child to invest their sav- ings in the future of the United States of America. Dollars invested through channel will ultimately promote s enterprise and provide em- ployment for all. Regular saving of a part of your weekly earnings for investment in the new $1 Treasury Saving Stamps automat ber of the ly enrolls you as a mem- Government Loan Organization Second Federal Reserve District 120 BROADWAY NEW YORK CITY ATEMENT OF THE OWNERSHIP, MAN- T, etc., required by the Act of Con- August 24, 191 ly. for October 1, 1921, si County of Before me, a Notary Public, in and for the State and county aforesaid, personally appeared Douglas H. Cooke, who, having been duly sworn according to law, deposes and says that he is the Editor and Business Manager of Judge, and that the following is, to the best of his knowl- edge and belief, a true statement of the ow: ip, management, ete., of the aforesaid publ tion’ for the date’ shown in the above caption. required by the Act of Augus' 2, in section 413, Postal ‘That the nam 43rd_St., Editor, Eliot’ Keen, » N. Y.; Business Si Manager, Douglas New York, N. Y. 2.—That the owner is: William Green, 627 West 43rd St., New York, Y. 3.—That the known bondholders, mort- Ae 3, and other security holders owning or holding 1 per cent or more of total amount of bonds, mortgages, or other securities are: None. 4.—That the two paragraphs next abov giving the names of the owners, stockholders, and security holders, if any, contain not only the list of stockholders and security holders as they appear upon the books of the company but also, in cases where the stockholder or security holder appears upon the books of the company as trustee or in any other fiduciary relation, the name of the person or corporation for whom such trustee is acting, is given; also that the said two paragraphs contain state- ments embracing affiant’s full knowledge and belief as to the circumstances and conditions under which stockholders and security holders who do not appear upon the books of the company as trustees, hold stock and securities in a capacity other than that of a bona fide owner ; and this affiant has no reason to believe that any other person, association, or cor- poration has any interest direct or indirect in the said stock, bonds, or other securities than as so stated by him. DOUGLAS H. COOKE. Sworn to and ibed before me this 358, New York County Recister's No. Commission expires March 80th, 1922. PRESS OF WILLIAM GREEN, NEW YORK