Judge — October 1, 1921 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘EVERYDAY MOVIES—THE LOST FIVE CENTS WILLIE JONES HAG FIVE CENTeS & SO HAS JACKIE BURKE. WILLIE & IS SENT TO THE CANDY-cS TORE TO BUY FOR BOTH. eh Overheard in the ‘‘Beauty Department” By May ISABEL FISK Qrour WOMAN (with “profiteer- ing” husband, writ large upon her, to elegant Fore-“lady”)—And | want you to do everything you can for me—never mind the expense. E. F. L.—Quite so, modom—by the time we have all finished with you, your own family wouldn’t reck- ernise you. S. W. (uncertain as to the signifi- cance of this) —O-o-oh! E. F. L.—Yes, modom, there isn’t anything we can’t do to you if you will only let us keep it up long enough. Please be seated. S. W. (plops into chair and looks apprehensive)—My, but you have a sharp eye, Miss! E. F. L. (after a minute inspec- tion)—Oh, yes, a large part of your chin must be removed. And some of the back of your neck as well. S. W. (gasping)—Oh! Will it hurt or come off in lumps? E. F, L.—No, modom, the effects is quite gradual. We have a won- derful soap—it will take your chin right off—and your neck with it. Your hair needs touching up. S. W. (with dejection)—My hus- band wouldn’t let me have my hair dyed. E. F. L.—Certainly not, modom Dye is a word never used in the best establishments, nowadays. We re- store the hair to its natural tint; or to any color you like. S. W. (beaming)—Really? Well, I've always wanted to have yeller hair so I’ll have mine restored a nice, rich yeller, with plenty of gold in it. E, F, L.—Nothing easier, modom. I want to recommend to you our psycho-electric wrinkle roller. If you've got a double chin, it will rub it right off, and if you’re thin, it will rub it right on. There isn’t nothing Close-up of He Currency. cents. it won't do. ful color, too. S. W. (enchanted)—Well, now— It gives you a wonder- returns, after losing five The Angler—Confound it! I’m caught on some old junk down below! n Where’s my candy! I fell and 1-l-lost your nickel. You don’t mean a rouge? My hus- band wouldn’t let me use any kind of anaestethics. (Confidentially) 1 can’t afford to do anything he wouldn’t like—good husbands don’t grow on every bush and I’m not go- ing to kill the fatted calf that lays the golden eggs! He’s kind of deli- cate now and yet he isn’t what you’d call indelicate, neither. He’s been smoking too many of those long black cigars, and the doctor says his lungs is all coated with seccotine. E. F. L.—Quite so, modom, it must be very painful. (Taking upa bottle.) Here is an article we thoroughly guarantee, our Isis Eye Tonic. It imparts an absolutely permanent sparkle to the eyes in one applica- tion; two bottles, five dollars, S. W.—It sounds lovely. I’ll have a couple. My husband says spend as much as I like as long as I get myself changed. E. F. L.—Quite so, modom, leave that to us—I’m sure you will be sur- prised. Here, Miss Leary, take this lady into number A compartment and thoroughly steam and soak her, then give her a double treatment with our extra special Reduco Fluid. (The S. W. is quickly propelled through the curtains of A compart- ment. Presently emanates the sound of vigorous smacks on unprotected flesh. The S. W. endeavors to enun- ciate through a face full of towels.) S. W.—I say, miss, do you have to slap quite so hard? Look at the color I'm getting. . Miss L.—You needn’t io worry. Shows it’s doing you good when you get like a lobster so quick. I have to work terrible hard with you stout ladies—the creams have a long way to go. You will get rid of that purple look in a few days. (Smack, smack.) Now I'll just put a pad of this Ab- sorbent Tonic on your chin. I want to get it as far back of your ears as I can to-day. This is awful good stuff. comicbooks.com a lie tlt Shed. 6 eS