Judge, 1921-09-10 · page 5 of 36
Judge — September 10, 1921 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This page from *Judge* magazine features a short story titled "Beulah, the Beautiful Boot-Legger" by Gelett Burgess. The narrative satirizes Prohibition-era America (1920-1933), when alcohol sales were federally banned. The story's humor centers on Beulah Bodkin, an unattractive woman who becomes socially desirable after Prohibition begins—specifically because her brother Ben becomes an Internal Revenue Agent enforcing alcohol laws. Men suddenly court her, hoping to access illegal liquor through family connections. The accompanying illustrations show the bootlegging trade: one depicts Beulah with alcohol, another shows a man smuggling a bottle. The satire mocks how Prohibition created unexpected social opportunities and how citizens circumvented unpopular laws through personal connections and corruption.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Beulah, the Beautiful Boot-Legger By Getetr Burcess Author of “The Purple Cow,’ “Goops and How to Be Them,” “Are You a Bromide?” Ete. head looked like one of those carved in Cuba from a cocoanut, or of a wax doll found in the ruins cf some terrible fire. But if Beulah, like the ostrich, ever hid that head in the sand, the casual tourist, noticing the rest of her, would have said, ““Look—how lovely!” Unlike the ostrich’s, however, Beulah’s homely head held brains. She knew, therefore, that, however marvelous her figure might be, it was of little use to her unless she were decapitated, and a new top sewed on. Eut at present that seemed impossible. Even if she had the courage to sub- mit to the operation, where would she get a new head? People simply hung onto theirs, no matter how much you offered for them. The consequence was that Beulah made no special hit with the men. At dances, her brother Ben parked her under a palm, and there she remained while the other girls danced themselves to a frazzle, only stopping occasionally to ask Beulah to hold their tulle scarves. No one ever called on Beulah, except girls who wanted to tell her how they got engaged, or divorced, or What the Baby Said. Ben’s friends she met, sometimes, but they always had to be getting home for a hard day, to- morrow. In fact, so far as men were concerned, Beulah Bodkin was invisible to the naked eye. And then came Prohibition; and everybody began to drink. People who had never known what kind of a fh Northern extremity of Beulah Bodkin was far, far from beautiful. Her “BEULAH MADE NO SPECIAL HIT cocktail had a cherry and which one WITH THE MEN,” . z an olive, began to carry it round on =, the hip. Sour smelling messes were concocted in every kitchen, and bottles were exploding in every ice chest. Ben Bodkin was appointed an Internal Revenue Agent. There were more men calling at the house after that, Beulah noticed. Men even spoke to her—smiled—stayed ‘round a while to talk—asked her if she weren’t lonely—and how’d she like to run out and get a huckleberry sundae? Men she met on the street whispered to friends and introduced them to her. Why, there was more laughter in her life in a week than there had been in her whole thirty-eight years of existence. How did it happen? Every night Beulah looked at her- self in the glass and wondered. Had that bottle of Odalisque Beautifier done it all? Was it the adjustable eyelashes she had been wearing? The new bridge-work in her mouth? She couldn’t see much difference—she seemed to be the old gargoyle—but then, there was no doubt about it, certainly was getting popular. (Continued on neat page). “AND THEN CAME PROHIBITION; AND EVERYBODY BEGAN TO DRINK.” comicbooks.com