Judge — September 10, 1921 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Ballad of Sweet Saccharina By A. GROVE Day O YE whose heartstrings vibrate Hear of sweet Saccharina, the queen of the candy store, With eyes of Jordan almonds of deep- est amethyst, And lips like a big red gumdrop, just waiting to be kissed. Her cheeks were tinged of cinnamon- drops on a beach of minty white; Her breath had the cloying fragrance of a Honeydew Delight; The perfume of fresh fried dough- nuts was in her taffy locks, And her smile was more than nouga- tines, at ninety cents a box. to the sweet romance of yore, | ‘Twas on a summer’s evening, with the soda flowing free, When Gerald Glucose entered in and | whispered ardently, “O sweetest of confections! charina true! I want a billion kisses, and I want them all from you!” O Sac- He stood there, tall and brave and | strong as any all-day lollypop, And pled with eyes that would melt the heart of a stony lemon-drop. “Be mine, sweet Saccharina! One word from thy cherried throat, And I'll keep you in chocolate bon- bons till Bryan gets the vote!” She nodded once; he took her off in his licorice limousine To his Kandy Kitchen Kottage of sugary white and green, Across a lime-drop lawn with peanut- brittle pathways thru, With a gay hard-candy garden, and a stone bench built for two. Thru thick and thin she clung to him as, on a summer’s day, Taffy clings as you try to draw your sticky hand away. They raised a batch of candy kids, and led, as years rolled round, One long sweet life of kisses, at sixty cents a pound, The Vogue Gerry Mander—What costume will be in vogue this season, dearie? Sallie Mander—The Divorce Suit. More Truth Than Free Verse Hark to one who here assails Needless begging and appealing! Mendicants with “touching” tales Overworked this fellow “feeling”! Their Hardship Teacher—What hardship did the pilgrims have when they came to America? Small boy—The Mayflower. Lew oftale a. Lb educated atl te eeguend uth preale ee ee ee fv te your Ch bLeen/ A Sf ota Walermant Steal. Punta Qa “YEH, B-BUT TH’ OTHER K-KIDS PUS “PUSHED YOU IN? HOw DOES IT H. in!” THAT YOUR CLOTHES AREN'T WET?” “WHEN THEY SAID THEY WAS GOIN’ TO PUSH ME IN I TOOK ’EM OFF!” The Ruling Passion A number of darkeys were un- loading a boat with a cargo of anvils for which they received two cents for each anvil carried ashore. Jose—Capt’n, if I carry two anvils at a time how much do I git? Capt.—Two cents each, boy. Jose started down the plank when it broke and he fell into the river with the two heavy anvils. When he came to the surface he cried: “Captain! if you-all don’t throw me a rope I’se gwin’ t’drop these here anvils an’ lose mah fo’ cents!” 33 ST LEARN PIANO! ERVATORY, Boston, 25, Mass. Cuticura Soap Complexions Are Healthy Soap,Ointment,Talcum,25c.everywhere.For samples address. Cuticura Laboratories, Dept. 7, Malden, Mass. comicbooks.com