Judge — September 10, 1921 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

(0 YOU THINK MARGIE’S GOWN WAS ORIG- INAL?” “ALMOST ABORIGINAL,” “Harvard Lampoon. Doings . Spic—My fiancée insists that I obtain her a large bouquet for the dance to-night. Is it being done? Span—No, you are. —Princeton Tiger. Home-spun Proverbs A rolling stone wins many a bone. - An apple a day costs money. He who laughs first sees the point. A bird in a bush can’t be very large. A stitch in time saves thread. Birds of a feather are nearly nude. —Lehigh Burr. Engaged They were alone. Standing there face to face. “IT want you truly,” he said. “Will you always be kind to me?” she asked. “Always.” “And you will never get pro- voked with me?” “Never.” “And may I al- ways have my own way?” “Surely.” “All right, then I will take the job of cook.” — Wis- consin Octopus. mull GEOUMELLER WITH THE COLLE At His Word The gang—You don’t care who pays the bill, do you? Proprietor—Nope, it makes no dif- ference to me. The gang (in chorus)—Then you pay it!—Oregon Lemon Punch. Misery Loves Company A man never notices a girl until le thinks someone else wants her and then the law of demand begins to operate.—Ohio Sun Dial. No Color on the Palette “I want a loaf of bread.” “White or graham?” “It doesn’t matter, this is for a blind lady.”—Colgate Banter. Definition Olive—What’s an optimist? Eleanor—A guy who cuts a dance with a Prof’s daughter and then ex- pects to pass the course.—Brown Jug. Advised “I want some advice on a love affair of mine.” “Well, shoot.” “Some time ago I became infatu- ated with a beautiful girl and asked her to marry me, but last night she confessed that she had a wooden leg. What would you do?” “I'd break it off.” —Chicago Phoenix. A TRAVELING SALESMAN, 30 GE WITS Two Is a Crowd Bill—I certainly did wrong when I told my girl that I admired her chin. Sill—How’s that? “She started raising another one.” —NMichigan Gargoyle. Palesteena—THE MORE UNDRESSED A GIRL IS, THE BETTER HER PARTNER CAN SHIMMY. Marimba—Yes. THE BARE IDEA MAKES HIM SHUDDER.—Williams’ Purple Cow. Retort Courteous “What would you do if you were in my shoes.” “Get 'em shined. That’s what I’d do.”—Pitt Panther. Last Chance Peddler — You had better buy this relic now sir as you'll never be able to get the like of it again. Tourist — Wry my friend Brown got one just like that over here be- fore the war. “Oh, yes, sir; but the Huns went and destroyed the factory.” — Will- tams Purple Cow. —Columbia Jester. comicbooks.com