Judge — September 3, 1921 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AT THE FOUNTAIN—“What do you think of my pretty girl dispenser?” “She can’t draw soda.” “Well, I’m in hopes she’ll be able te draw the young men.”—Louisville Courier-Journal. A MEAN Cuss—“That druggist played a mean trick on the gang.” “How so?” “He had a pretty salesgirl.” “Well?” “Got a lot of customers and then married her __hintself.”—Louisville Courier-Journal. SUBSTITUTES—Somewhat embar- rassed he sidled up to the department store glove counter. “TI would like to see Miss Green,” he stammered. The absent-minded looked up languidly. “Miss Green is out,” she said, “but we have a Miss White who is very nice, also Miss Black and Miss Brown, who are very popular this season.”—Town Topics. salesperson DISINTERESTED — ‘“How’s _ busi- ness?” asked the customer. “Very bad,” replied the clerk. “But you don’t seem to be worry- ing?” “I’m not. I don’t own the store.” —Detroit Free Press. TRUTH WILL TRIUMPH—A mer- chant had advertised for a boy. Late in the afternoon, a_red-headed, freckle-faced, blue-eyed, honest-look- ing boy applied for the job. “Do you like to work?” asked the merchant. “No, sir!” replied the boy. “Then you can have the job,” re- plied the merchant. “You are the first boy who’s been here to-day who didn’t lie about it and say yes.”— Washington Post. DEPARTMENT STORE SPECIAL “Why, Hello, Pat, I hear you lost your job in the Department Store.” “Oh, yes, | got fired?” “You got fired? How did that happen?” “Oh, I just took a sign from a lady’s shirt waist and put it on a bath tub.” “And you got fired for that? tell me what the sign read.” “It said, ‘How would you like to see your best girl in this for $2.75?’” —Keeping in Touch. Well, Perkins (during neighborly quarrel)— By JOVE, IF YOU DON’T STOP TRYING ME ANGRY, I’LL BUY MY WIFE AND THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO BUY yours!—The Passing Show (London). ONCE A SUCKER, ALWAYS—“Let’s see,” said the peddler. “Yes, this must be the house where my friend said he sold the lightning rods. So I guess I better offer my new-fangled butter- less churn. I believe firmly in the old adage, ‘Whom man has done, man can do.’””—Philadelphia Public Ledger. BR Wuy Huspanps LEAVE HoME— “My dear,” said Mr. Bibbles, briskly, “T think I will run down town for a few minutes.” “All right,” said Mrs. Bibbles. “When those ‘few minutes’ become a few hours I hope you'll be in a condi- tion to run back.”—Birmingham Age-Herald. MATRIMONY READY TO Tip HIM—Officer (ez- amining passports )—Where are your proofs that she’s your wife? Henpeck—I haven’t any; but if you can prove she’s not my wife you’re a made man.—Charleston News and Courier. No More Nicuts OutT—“As for that bachelor girl who got married the other day.” “Well?” “Was it a case of true love?” “Apparently so. She surrendered her latch key.”—Birmingham Age- Herald, Art For Dress Sake Manager—For HEAVEN'S SAKE WHAT'S THE ESTING CHARACTER IN THE PLAY AND STILL YOU Actress—INTERESTING CHARACTER, EH? DO YOU REALIZE THAT | HAVETO WEAR THE SAME GOWN IN ALL THREE AcTS?—Le Rire (Paris.) 25 MATTER NOW? I GIVE YOU THE MOST INTER- COMPLAIN! comicbooks.com