Judge — August 27, 1921 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Digest of HEARD ON THE LINKS—Cleek— New golfing coat, eh? I thought you were going to make your last year’s coat do. Driver—I was, but I found that the moths had laid out a complete 18-hole course on it.—Boston Tran- script. Hot—“I never really noticed how hot the weather is, until— “Until what?” “Until my husband came home and said that it was too hot for him to play golf.”—Detroit Free Press. From BaD TO WoRsE—The two miners had never seen golf played be- fore. They stood watching a fat, un- skillful player at work in a bunker. The sand flew up, but the ball re- mained. Seven agonizing shots had been played. The player stopped for breath, and then made his eighth at- temp. The ball was lobbed up, dropped on the green, and rolling gently to the pin, settled in the hole. “Bagum, Bill,” said one miner to the other, “he’s got a devil of a job on now.”—London Weekly Telegraph. A 100 PER CENT PLAYER—‘“Well, you should be thankful your husband can’t play golf at night,” said the sympathetic neighbor to a_ golf widow. “I don’t know about that,” she re- plied. “He can talk about it at night.”—Detroit Free Press. GOLF PROVERBS—Your golf game is governed, not by your intentions, but by your nerves. That is why physical fitness counts. A long drive is a promise to pay. A good put is always cash. In golf, as in life, the attempt to do something in one stroke that needs two is apt to result in taking three. —wWalter Camp in Collier’s. Coaxinc IT—“Is Mr. Dubwaite’s game improving?” “It doesn’t show much improve- ment, but he certainly is in earnest.” “How is that?” “He talks to a golf ball as if he were addressing a pair of dice.”— Birmingham Age-Herald. SALVAGE — Cleek — Lose balls? Niblick—No, I happened to find the place where the caddie was bunk- ing them away.—New York Sun. many TECHNICAL TERMS— Addressing the Ball—Remarks after a bad slice. Birdie—A high flyer. Bogey—A colonel who never served in war. Bunker—A_ geological configura- tion which often occasions superla- tive blasphemy. Caddie—A practical and inexpen- sive consultant. Club—Instrument for shortening longevity of caddies.—Journal of the American Medical Association. ON THE OTHER Foot—“His wife is a great golf player, I understand.” “Yes. I often wonder how he likes being a golf widower.” —Detroit Free Press. Vox Populi Patient—You SAY THE TOWN-HALL IS FULL OF PEOPLE ASKING ABOUT ME? I DIDN’T KNOW I was so POPULAR! Doctor—OH, THEY ARE JUST CLAMORING TO KNOW WHEN YOU ARE GOING TO DIE AND Le VACATE YOUR APARTMENT! — Journal Amusant (Paris). 21 the World’s Humor Wuat Does HE Know Asout IT? —Says the bachelor editor of the Wathena Times: “How can you ex- pect girls to marry and be satisfied with their husbands? They are seldom satisfied with themselves. There is always something, com- plexion, weight, height, the color of the eyes or hair, that does not suit them. And it is a case where ‘mur- der will out,’ for they just can’t keep from telling where they them- selves think they could be improved. Except for that, easily fooled men might readily imagine them to be perfect. A wise Providence seems to have decreed that they should tote fair, to the extent of warning men of their imperfections.”—Houston Post. Up AND DowN—Flatbush—You say your wife went to college before you married her? Bensonhurst—Yes, she did. “And she thought of taking up the law, you said?” “Yes; but now she’s satisfied to lay it down.”—Yonkers Statesman, How 1T Looks—“‘Are women really economizing?” “T don’t know,” replied Mr. Grow- cher, “but I’ll say a good many look as if they were skimping on mate- rial.’—Washington Star. Two oF THEM—“What’s it the sign of when your girl refuses to kiss you?” asks a hurt contemporary. Well, it used to mean she had a split lip or had been eating onions, and we don’t believe the feminine nature has changed any.—Buffalo Times. THE CaAT—Ella—The surgeon took two stitches in my face. Stella—That’s what might be called plain sewing.—Boston Globe. comicbooks.com