Judge — August 6, 1921 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Down, Fido, Down! 1—“Well, I surely knocked ’em cold in my courses.” 2—“Yeah, whatja get?” 1—“ZERO.”—Tezas Scalper. Progress He—A fool used to blow out the gas— She—And now? He—He steps on it.—Illinois Siren. Dry Days I met old Mike on the campus, He looked as if he’d had a fall; He said, when I asked him what ailed him, “I’m out of spirits, that’s all.”— California Pelican. Slow Boy They were sitting on the sofa in the parlor—she on one end and he on the other. Suddenly she spoke through the stillness: “Suppose you start the Victrola, Howard.” “What’s the idea, Mary?” “Well—it’s about time you started something!”—The Villanovan. Sure Most girls with a strong line usu- ally hook some poor fish.—Missouri Showme. m—I’M TAKING POLITICAL ECONOMY AT COLLEGE. Old ’Un—THAT’S A USELESS COURSE. WHY LEARN TO ECONOMIZE IN POLITICS? It’s NOT BEING DONE.—Cornell Widow. Tony—HvuH, MY BROTHER—HE BRAVE BIRD—FLY TWENTY THOUSAND FEET AND JUMP IN THE PAIR-O-SCHUTES. Red—SUPPOSE ONE OF THESE DAYS HE JUMPS OUT AND THE PARACHUTE DON’? WORK—HUH? Tony—My .BROTHER—HE COME DOWN ANYWAY.—Carnegie Puppet. Her Two dazzling eyes With baby stare; A little smile And cute bobbed hair. Two dancing feet, A shoulder sway; A silly laugh, A vamping way. A crowd of men, A social whirl, And there you are— The modern girl. —Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. Good Eyes Rysse—They say Jack’s an awfully good-looker. Kay—So I noticed as I climbed on the car this morning.—Washington Sun Dodger. Comestic Urge Pelly, after a wide and minute in- vestigation, asserts positively that the women wear black lace hose, short tight dresses, penciled eyebrows, rouged cheeks, and red, cupid-bow lips in order to repel the male of the species.—California Pelican. 28 Howzat? “Who found a lady’s purse?” “I did.” “An honest man. in it?” “Nothing.”—Oregon Lemon Punch, How much was Her Kiss Was Acid I kissed a girl, then got the colic. Say now, how could I know The rouge she used contained car- bolic? How could she treat me so!—Yale Record. Appreciation 1921—Did you see that movie called Oliver Twist? Frosh—Yes: and say, wouldn’t that make a peach of a book?—Brown Jug. Alaska Again Woman Tourist—So this is Alaska. Bored Guide—Nome.— Washington Sun Dodger. Lucidity Professor (telling the story of how Orpheus descended into the lower regions to get Eurydice, his wife)— You understand the allusion, of course; Orpheus went down into Hades to find out where in hell his wife was.”—Princeton Tiger. ~p Bryn Mawr—WHat KIND OF A SPORT DO YOU GENERALLY GO OUT FOR? Vassar—EITHER A YALE OR A PRINCE- TON ONE!—Yale Record. *