Judge — July 23, 1921 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible Trifles COULD have liked Ada, But she stuttered A little. And I could have adored Viola, But she squinted A little. As for Jo, I could have /oved her, But she wouldn’t sit out on the porch— Even a little. —Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. SKETCH SHOWING STRIKING PROGRESS MADE IN WOMEN’S CLOTHES IN THE PAST 4,000 YEARS.—Carnegie Puppet. The Stuff that Dreams Are Made Of “John, when you buy tickets, don’t go higher than fifty-five cents. I did quite a bit of mountain climbing last summer, and I like to keep in condition.” “Won't you please leave your Mercer at home? Walking in the moonlight is so romantic.” “Luncheon at the Ritz? Oh, John, you know how delicacies upset me. Besides, I’ve discovered a wonderful place where you drop your money in a slot machine and carry your own dishes. Now, isn’t that just fascinating?” “You'll send me no flowers! long in the graveyard.” “Listen, dear. I don’t advocate reck- less spending, but just for my sake I’m going to ask you to add another item. Please don’t fail me. Just one tiny bag of salted peanuts will be sufficient.”— Penn- sylvania Punch Bowl. They be- “] WOULDN'T CALL THAT GIRL MODEST.” “TL saw mopiste!”—M issouri Showme. Father Goose Rhymes Nursery Rhymes are out of date And I don’t want to be too frisky, But it certainly takes a lot of Jack To buy a Gill of whiskey. —Carolina Tar Baby. Cheerio!! Our Willie pitched a cartridge up And on the stone it struck, We hadn’t bought his school books yet-— Oh, were we not in luck? —Lehigh Burr Decolleté “Mary, are you going to wear an eve- ting gown to the Prom?” “Not so’s you could notice it.”—Wash- ington and Jefferson Wag Jag. A Movie Star.—Chicago Phoenix. 32 Hard Luck Willis—Talk about hard luck. I prom- ised my wife I’d be home at ten last night, and it was eleven before I got ready to start. Gillis—Well? Willis—So I stayed out till one o’clock before I could think of an excuse that might work.” “Then?” “When I reached home at one-thirty, I discovered that my wife had been out until twelve.”—Carolina Tar Baby. Fair—Goinc To CHAPEL? Rare—No, | pon’T NEED THE SLEEP. —Kansas Brown Bull. Naturally Judge—You have been found guilty of petty larceny. What do you want, ten days or ten dollars? Guilty Party—I’ll take the money.— Denison Flamingo. Diplomacy Newlywed—You know, I don’t know what to call my mother-in-law. I don’t like to call her “Mother,” and yet I can’t very well call her Mrs———. What did you do? Experienced Husband—Well, 1 called mine “Say” for the first year and after that everybody called her “Grandma.”—Mass. Tech. Voo Doo. Good Reason Belle—I don’t understand why Clarice lets that common grocery boy play around with her? Buoy—Neither do I, unless it’s because he delivers the goods.— Penn State Froth. he c ankl she : cost a st thou whil agaii How bred jecti just «) said «y Gera herer wond ay sland #y Bre when credit