Judge — July 16, 1921 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ful sylphishness and take another helping of cake and ice-cream. Some plan for reducing that would actually cut down the gross live weight on the hoof would be more appre- ciated in this broad land than a formula for home-brewing money. Its benefits would be boundless, to the boundless. It might knock a little off the annual profits of the clothing merchandisers, but it would produce some great gobs of joy in many a life. For with this plan they could shuck off from five to fifteen pounds a week. And only a few would then suffer from lack of competent holding. Which, according to those who are conversant with such situations, is the goal toward Drawn by Nate Cour Sunday Golfist (as lightning strikes tree under assing LL (GO which he has taken shelter from a shower)—O-o-o! Att ricut, Lorp! TO CHURCH NEXT SuNpAY! Reducing By Cuet SHarer REDUCING is a gargantuan effort to bring on a bear movement in surplus stock. It appeals largely to the feminine who openly admits a shape like a ball bearing. It also lures the obese male with an abdominal kopje into indecorous calis- thenics. For real inside facts on the sub- ject the appeal should be made to a maiden who has no clothes that fit her except her stockings and her hair-net. Methods of reducing are as numerous as alibis for a rubicund nose. Not long ago there was a woman who drank so much hot water before breakfast that her husband couldn’t shave and she was compelled to employ the Australian crawl to get to her meals. Another tried a chiropractor, osteopath, the “Y’ gym, the electric toaster and starvation, and she’s now on the lookout for a good veterinarian. The lady with no more waistline than a shell- casing recommends unleavened bread, while her companion in misery, whose only method of entertaining her beaux is show- ing him her baby pictures, eschews peanut butter. Any one of them afflicted with extreme displacement has a notion. And if they lose three pounds, they manifest more exuberance than if they’d gained twenty-five points on the New York Stock Exchange. Any club or society which harbors the female of the spacious is a reducing ground. There’s where most of the work is done. Elizabeth, who has to get an aisle seat or wait until the show is over before she can get out, says Turkish baths are telling. Elfin Annie narrates her story about going to a physical culture expert for a month and losing nothing but her tuition. Grace, who hasn’t spoken to her husband since she told him she weighed 168 pounds and he inquired: “Net?” relates her experience with Toukalas Tea. And then they all wonder if they’ll ever get back their youth- which all of them are striving. Rehearsing the Latest Revue Stage Director—I wish I could think of a sensational entrance for my show girls. Musical Director—Why not let them walk right out before everybody—fully clothed! Drawn by S. DeLevante Ode to an Oyster By Irene Hapiey 'HOU silent one! I envy thee— How quietly thou resteth In the nice salty brine of the sea That thou didst not make of tears. Nay—nay—Thou cryeth not, Because thou wert wise And kept silent. No love letters didst thou write, Nor gossip didst repeat. No promise didst thou make— With no intent to keep. So in silence, thou findeth thy measure of content. Had I, too, been wise and mum—like thee, oyster— I now would find little to concern me—nor worry me, Nor mourn for hours misspent. Hit by Daylight Bragg—My time is worth $100 a minute. Flagg—It must have struck you hard when they turned the clock an hour ahead. ‘THE HYPNOTIST PLAYS A PRACTICAL JOKE ON THE COSMETIC GIRL. Ye ee re Pe Why Gard em c follov WI Hei Th An Wh somet My The Anc Ise