Judge — July 9, 1921 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

This BookFree “Success in Music and How 1? Sousa and to Win It” wed famous" musicians tell how you can quickly learn to play saxaphone, corn Comes, clarinet, any. band’ or orchestra in- strument and double your income and pleasure. Used by greatest bands and solo artists. Easiest of all to play. Send post card for free book and detatts of fice trial Blan. 246 Coe aes ind. Smoke Screen “What’s the name of this picture?” “4 Woman After All.’” “Yes! that’s the thing she is generally after—and she gets it!” Out of Luck I waited for thee, Queen, and thou Didst send another in thy place. What good’s a three-spot to me now? I've got the Ten, Jack, King and Ace. ee | Drawn by Nonuan AnTuony How Witte Gor Nn Guarpian. WITHOUT A atTaTETa LEARN PIANO! Girls! Girls!! Clear Your Skin With Cuticura EsSotatcran Sept Y, eskoen fase Sold ovecyurbere °VE GOT ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE CONFOUNDED JAZZ RECORDS ON AGAIN!” A Study in Optimism By Epwarp W. Barnard I YEARN for peaks imperious With precipices deep and sheer. I want—no, no, I’m serious!— I want to be a mountaineer. Tacoma I will climb some day, That Mecca of the valley-born; And, when there’s lots of time, some day I'll scale the mighty Matterhorn! Meanwhile the Alpine manner I Mean to acquire without a guide— A conscript ‘neath Hope’s banner I— Sing hey! the heights of Morningside. Crisp altitudes Canadian I hoped my feet would know this year. They say Banff is Arcadian, And Lake Louise quite its compeer. But though supremely fair withal, They are, alas! too far away, I’m shy the wary wherewithal, And only have week-ends to play. So I escape a fearfully Long, hot and (maybe) thirsty ride; I take my physic cheerfully, Sing hey! the heights of Morningside. Up-state hills, too, are fair to see, Though not, they tell me, glacier-capt. Some day I’m going there to see When I’m not literally strapped. All mountains look all right to me, The placid Blue and rugged Green Are lovely as the White to me On every map that I have seen. And since these are taboo to me Why not enjoy, cry up with pride What’s near, and far from new to me? Sing hey! the heights of Morningside. Mopping Up the Steppes Revolutionists occupying Minsk killed many local Communists. Playful Bolshe- viki, re-entering, executed more than 200. Revolters occupying Odessa were virtually annihilated, but a week later the Bolshe- vik garrison was driven out by Ukrainians, who treated the soviet commissaries to a friendly hanging. Let’s see, whose move is it? Evidently the boys think one good po- grom deserves another; and if nobody will stay dead in this new outdoor sport, every- 2 ford 839 — heey eee worth $3 for EACH, ie ‘atonce. Tight tan and while only. ‘Collar elses 16to 17, Btate size, F.V. FRANKEL, Dept. 197—P. S., 853 Sth Avenue, New York Parting Is Such Moist Sorrow By Irene Van VALKENBURG JOHNSON has arrived at that phase of matrimony where he wants to leave his wife. He must leave his wife. He says he cannot endure her presence another day without going mad. She irritates him, she infuriates him, she badgers and _hectors him. Johnson would really prefer to poison or strangle her, but, being a decent, law- abiding citizen, he could manage to satisfy himself with merely removing to a separate abode. But he hasn’t left her yet. He never will leave her. He cannot get a legal permit to remove his cellar. Judgelets The love that passeth understanding is that a bachelor gives himself. Never a derrick was built that would help a man out who has fallen in love. A débutante’s hope flies out at the win- dow when a widow comes in at the door. Drawn by “nev Yost Conductor—WuERE SONNY? Kid—Sorry, sir; I HAVENT GOT ANY. Conductor—WELL, YOU'LL HAVE TO GET OFF AT THE NEXT STOP. Kid—Tuanxs; Tuat’s ONLY AS FAR as I want TO Go. Is YOUR TICKET, body may serve with great extinction. 32 ROMEIKE’S 2855 CLIPPING BUREAU We will send you all newspaper clippings whicn may aopear about you, your friends or any subject on which you may want to be “up-to-date.” Every newspaper or periodical of importance in the United States and Europe is searched. Terms $7.50 for 100 clippings. HENRY ROMEIKE 106-110 Seventh Avenue New York An for t] tryin, and and 1 comicbooks.com