Judge — July 9, 1921 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WITH THE COLLEGE WITS A Toucu or Locat Coror.—Princeton Tiger. Up-to-Date Definitions The Latest Renditions of Modern Slang: An oil can is a guy who leaves his rubbers on the radiator. A slob is a bimbo who eats onions and then gets confidential. A goof is a poor fish who borrows a cigarette and then gets sore because you haven’t a match. A dumbell is a guy who buys Herpicide to use on his hair. A bimbo is a guy who blows his breath in your face after he has had some home- made hootch. A futzenheimer is a gink who doesn’t drink coffee because the spoon bothers his eye. A pineapple is a goof who tries to get wholesale rates on two-cent stamps. An egg is an oil can who starts to tell a joke and then forgets the point. A yap is an egg who thinks that cold cream is kept in the refrig- erator.—Carnegie Puppet. Both Kinds Teacher—John, please define the word “plumber.” First Seat—Either a man who works about pipes all the time or one who pipes about his work all the time—Penn State Froth, So They Say! OW much will it cost me to take you out to dinner? About twenty dollars. Where are we going, to Bulgaria? No, just Bohemia. What can we get for $20? Some nice stewed chicken, and, I don’t like ’em. Why? They’re hard to handle—Brow:: Jug. Symptoms When you begin reading the let- ter over twice or thrice or more— And studying even the envelope and postmark— And gazing long at the opening and closing in search of some deeply hidden meaning— And admiring the handwriting and the stationery— And smiling a dreamy smile as you read— You're gone, my boy, you’re gone!— Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. Finance A dollar may only be worth one-half of what it used to be, but that is no sign it is twice as easy to borrow.—Wisconsin Stude—I wonver iF I’Lu BE A GOOF LIKE THAT? Prof—I wonveR IF I was A GOOF LIKE THAT?—Oregon Lemon Punch. Hicu-Power Microscopic View or Vach tion Fever Bacterta—Ohio Sun Dial. Considerate A lady who suffered from phthisis, When asked by her lovex for khthisis, Said, “I’ve such a cough You had better go ough And becourtingsome healthier mhthisis.” —Columbia Jester. Tut! Tut! I did not approve, and I told her so. Her hair was dyed and her cheeks were too ostentatiously red. When I kissed her lips the rouge was so thick that it came off and reddened mine. And her skirts —good heavens! It is a wonder they don’t pass a traffic law about such skirts. But I was very frank about it. “Tt’s absolutely indecent!” I cried passionately. “I’m ashamed of you, Grandma!” — Princeton Tiger. Triangular I met a girl on board a ship Oh, joy, what happy fate! But, “watch your step,” the sweet thing said “I am the captain’s mate.”— Yale Record. Loser or Winner? Geology Prof.—Please give us the name of the largest diamond. Stude (the morning after)—The ace, doctor.—Carolina Tar Baby. icbooks.com Ge Gee awa mes a ae eee em OE ey oe moO ooav