Judge — July 2, 1921 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

other day—... I was hoping you wouldn’t say Tuesday for—... Isn’t that exasperating? Thursday’s just as bad. I can’t think for the moment, but I know I’m fixed up unbreakably for Thursday. I'll tell you what—let’s leave it over till the week following, then any day—— So glad to have seen you. dear! (To herself, as she moves away) And Ethel Trent said she was going away for a fortnight, next week! The Gentle Art of Making Love By Katuertne NecLey ‘THE Art of making love is very, very simple if one only knows how. If the girl is inexperienced and young, it is always best to proceed very slowly. Allow at least a week to elapse between the introduction and the “first call. After- wards, at judicious intervals, take her to art exhibitions, concerts and clean plays. Give her candy and flowers. After you have known her a long time, kiss her finger tips one by one; later her forehead, and lastly and lightly, her lips. So long, my Drawn by Cunsten I. Ganpe Wuy Jones DID NOT RETURN TO THE OFFICE AT THE END OF HIS TWO WEEKS’ VACATION. If the girl is wise and something of a flirt, try cave-man tactics. Kiss her roughly at the first opportunity and make an oppor- tunity of a slight chance. If she demurs, upbraid her for leading you on. Ask her to marry you at about the third meeting. Tell her you will not stand any dilly dally- ing. You must know at once. If the girl is pretty, petted and spoiled, shower her with attentions. Take her out in your high-powered car, go only to ex- clusive places, see the best plays in the best seats, give her flowers, candy and jewels, and above all, be sure she knows how rich you are. If the girl is inclined to be sentimental, talk up to her and beyond her, read up on soul affinity, commit poetry to memory, lead her to talk about her soul, and never, never let earthy love obtrude itself upon her. If the lady is a divorcée, merely follow her lead. She Retained Some Head Her—Oh, Captain, that two-step has made me so giddy! I must sit down. Him—Certainly—there’s a cosy corner at the bottom of the garden. Her—Thank you so much; but I’m not so giddy as all that. (Hatin LGA Eee eT Drat prize bihts, ayway. Se rete mo clp al 01 ip To ef fe per Sotbes fe nas bring it! fo me. THE NEXT Here, six, is the Motnip MonhiNe Wh he bank note removed & by Drawn by Dox Herotp Iv WOULD HAVE BEEN EASIER TO CLIP THE PAPER OUT OF THE FIGHT NEWS. Finis By Berton BRaLey LOVED a little flapper And though I wasn’t sure, I figured that, mayhap, her Affection would endure; But in the briefest season She went and left me flat With neither rhyme nor reason, —And there’s the end of that! T had a little money Hidden within my sock; With visions rich and sunny I risked it on a stock; The market went sky-larking My little stock went scat! And left me broke, remarking, “And there’s the end of that!” I wrote some little verses (And these, in fact, are those), Hoping to gain sesterces To pay the bills I owes; I'd take, if you should force it On me, a check that’s fat; Saying, as I endorse it, “And there’s the end of that!” Auld Acquaintance Alice—Do you know Gladys well enough to speak to her? Virginia—I know her well enough not to speak to her! The Band Master A business organization is very like an orchestra. The little man who bangs the big drum makes the most noise, but the big man who waggles the little stick earns the most money. bi