Judge — July 2, 1921 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

haveto! And youdon’t have to go through life with a chest that the tailor gives you ; with legs you can hardly stand on. And what about that stomach that finches every time you try a square meal? Are you a pill-feeder? Be you expect Health and Strength ot torenr—ehcouats pitts, po- ‘siobud up your body—all of Te Uhrough Nesure’s met ot by pampering the stomach, It Is not fate that is making you a failure ‘emaciated Se te “AEALTHY—STRONGVITAL- That's living. Mention theailments upon which you wish Special Information and send with a 10c piece Special tai to help Energ: Rit "Ot send for my tree bok, Right NEL STRONGFORT Pagal and Lath Spells Newark, BOOK ON DOG DISEASES And How to Feed Mailed free to any address by the Author H. CLAY GLOVER CO., Inc., 118 West 31st Street, New York ‘America’s Pioneer Dog Medicines Drawn by R. B. Fouter Tue Sneeze. His Corking Time So Oscar writes he can’t get away from Cuba on account of the ship strike? Bottled up there, as it were. Bottled? Humph! You mean unbottled! Obligatory North—The bible says that man was made to labor. West—You bet he was! did it voluntarily! No one ever Ifs G@use and Gre You can be quickly cured if you stammer. Send 10 cents, coin or stamps, for 288 page cloth bound book on Stamimering and Stuttering. It tells how I cured my- self after Stammering and Stuttering for 20 years, BIMIAMIN N. BOGUE, 3206 Bogue Building, 11479. Ill. St., I PRESS CLIPPING BUREAU ROMEIKE’S We will send you all newspape: slippines whicn may aopear about you, your fiends or any subject on which you may want to be “*tip-to- ewapaper o perlodical of importance it the United State urope is searched, Terms $7.50 for 100 clippings. HENRY ROMEIKE 106-110 Seventh Avenue New York FOR SPOT CASH Bil iaise tooth, old or broken Jewelry, di monde, watches, old gold, silver, | pista. War Bonds, ‘at Stamps, unused ee Goods returned in 10-days if you're not satiated. THE OHIO SMELTING & REFINING CO., 281 Lennox Bidg., Cleveland, Ohio and PROVANITY. AMOKING Drawn by Anraur T. Merrick GAMBLING A FEW EVERYDAY GERMS UNDER THE MICROSCOPE. Suggestions for the Kind- Hearted By J. R. McCartuy "THERE is no necessity to take the lives of rats and mice. Prof. Yoliptus- Counterbottom has discovered, through his lifetime study of the subject under the Holyhoke Foundation, that if these plea- sant little creatures are fed regularly with proper food, placed near their holes, they'will not molest food intended for other mouths. Never slay mosquitoes. Dr. Pedarpus Podunk is authority for the statement that these winged, fairylike insects, hatched from the teeming shallows of ponds, really prefer vegetable to animal food. Instead of remorselessly slaying them, cultivate the habit of keeping green vegetation about you. The mosquitoes, by personal preference, will dine on this. In case you contemplate a walk in desert country, or a sea voyage, it might be well to have a geranium, or some such attractive bloom, growing on your hat. This will require very little soil, and a canteen, slung over the shoulder, will supply moisture for the plant. The custom of clapping out the lives of the wavering moth-flies should not be countenanced in civilized society. These little wanderers do no harm in the ad- vanced stage in which we see them, ac- cording to Prophyl Axis, P.D.Q., of the bureau of research of Colossal College. They do have a habit of laying eggs, it is admitted, and the newly hatched young will dine, the learned professor says, on this and that. But instead of cutting short the happy lives of the winged adults, one should follow them about the room, making sure that they do not alight on any carpet or clothing. In this way their habit of depositing eggs can be circumvented. This delightful occupation is especially recommended for small boys and bored housewives. When the moth-fly is about to alight, a sudden gesture with both hands, or the quick flapping of an evening newspaper, will send him, we mean her, wavering upon her way. Mileage He—May I marry your daughter?” Father—Can you furnish her with the gasoline to which she’s been accustomed?” 30 The Old Oaken Bucket Is Once Again in Style By Soruite E. Reprorp G°°:81 Old Champagners, we all are abstainers, We've banished convivial fun! And father, dear father, would very much rather Go home when his day’s work is done. Goo-bi, Tom and Jerry and Claret and We're all on a temperance spree! From Leeds to Pawtucket, the old Oaken Bucket Is drawing H20 for tea! CHORUS The Old Oaken Bucket is once again in style, And everybody’s wearing a prohibition smile! Old Deacon Crabtree looks like ne had the “pip”; Old Deacon Jones can’t get his morning “nip”; The Sullivans and Harrigans that hung around the bar, Now hang onto the doorway of the Five o'clock car; For—we all go home at twilight by the shortest way, Since the Old Oaken Bucket has come back to stay! It’s farewell to Sweeney, Manhattan, Martini, So long, dear old Brandy and Schnapps! We've emptied instanter the bowl and decanter, Wherever the eagle wing flaps! So come all good sippers, get out your tin dippers, We'll sit round the curb of the well. Our sorrow—we'll chuck it in the Old Oaken Bucket, While tales of Budweiser we'll tell! The Lay of the Land “Jones,” said Brown, “do you know that there are two kinds of chickens?” “Yes,” laughed Jones, “poultry and human.” “And alike in one big respect.” “How’s that?” “Both kinds laying for mankind.”