Judge — June 25, 1921 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Oon, MA, LooKiT Tie eLernant’s The Bachelor Speaks 1 shall never marry. If I marry a slender, reedlike creature she will be thin and emaciated at the age of forty, subject to chronic colds and breakdowns If I marry a dimpled, well-rounded maiden, she will resemble a butter tub at forty, puffing and panting at the least exertion I shall never marry.—Penns Punch Bowl Pantology Prof.—When you examine a dog’s lungs under the microscope, what do you find? Pre-med.—The seat of his pants, I sup- pose.—California Pelican As Little as Possible “Man wants but little here below remarked the new arrival in Hades as he hurriedly removed his overcoat.—Cornell Widow Monarch of All He Surveyed “Who is really the boss in your home?” inquired the abrupt person. “Well, of course Henrietta assumes command of the children, the servants the dog, the cat, and the canary. But I can say pretty much what I please to the goldfish."— Utah Humbug. Another Wonder AMONG the great problems Of this world Should be included The inner workings of The co-ed’s mind I refer To that co-ed Who allows you to make dates with her For everyt To ignore a To write notes, letters, and telegrams To her, And to send material greetings of the sea son; ng on the calendar; other women; But when you say “ My dear girl, Lam in love with you,’ She loses her breath and ys IN HER THIR “Oh, I am so surprised!”—Washington "ES Dirge Sh REALLY on THUNK SC A Muse . Mrs. Dante—What are you writing . Why Not? now, dear? “You'd better lengthen those skirts, Dante—Oh, Hell, you wouldn't under- Maric.”” stand it!—Yale Record. “Uh?” “Gentlemen are apt to mistake you for a little girl and try to. take you on their laps.” “Well?” Utah Mumbug Impulse He—If I should kiss you, er, er, uh She—Ves, yes, go oni (Business of going on.)—Columbia Jester Bill's Bills Jack had gotten Bill's suit Thru mistake from The cles Feverishly He ran his hands ers. Thru the pockets. There was $150. In bills, Virginia Reel, Abnormal Psychology \lice—When we were visiting the asylum, we saw a woman who thought shi was a prin Ute How toxc nave you wees ES- — sfatice—That’s nothing. At the Uni "She—Tuts thie on avtoceTurr? versity we have 500 who think they’r —Amherst Lord Jef. queens.—Stanford Chaparral, 30 comicbooks.com