Judge — June 25, 1921 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drown by A.B. Wataen Tue INSTEAD ¢ Tistes WAVEN'T CHANGED GREATLY, MOTIVE POWER IS NOW GASOLINE An Ounce of Invention By Pavt Saxo HE other day I went to see a special- ist about my headache. I had suffered with it from birth; and though my parents spared no pains, or at least none I ever heard of, to cure it, it clung to me relentlessly. I was told tha: was the thing; and having ly all the specialists in the director I decided that Dr. Henry P. Rakestraw, General Specialist, 1248 Epsom Street, was the best one to handle my case. He was a capable, confident looking man. He reminded me of Old Man Peterson, who used to sell Chief Wind- specialist eliminated 1 shield’s Aboriginal Universal Indian Syrup down home; but of course, I didn’t tell him so. “Where docs your headache bother you most?” “Up here,” I answered, indicating head. “T know exactly what’s wrong with you A slight operation is all you ne probably. Come back tomorrow morning at nine o'clock.” I reported at 1248 Epsom Street prompt ly at nine o'clock, and received a surprise A dray was backed up to the door; an operating table and boxes of surgical instruments stood on the sidewalk. In- side I discovered a dentist’s chair, with a whirlpool basin and steel drill attachment In a large cabinet flanking the chair was a shining assortment of gimlets, gouges. jimmies, billhooks and bearing scrapers, ranging in size from a hairpin to a Stillson wrench, “What's the with the sheriff?” “No, no; I'm not moving. Those are my things. I've got to keep up with pub lic opinion, you know.” “What's public opinion got to do with itv?” 1; adenoids matter, Doc? Trouble Sverything. Health, like anything else, depends on public opinion. There is just as much vogue in healing as in heeling. You've probably heard of the ancient proc- ess of bleeding? “Yes; but I didn’t know it was ancient.” SEDAN STILL HAS FOUR SHOES, BUT THE )P MASCULINE. “They used it regularly until people began to believe in herbs, potions, and medicines as a cure for all diseases. This fashion held for a long time; but since ‘The Origin of Specie,’ science has waked up to the popular demand, and physicians discovering new ways to cure old Of course,” I said. spice of life—and death.” “One of the first,” he continued, ignor- ing my suggestion, “was the scrum. Now serums, or sera, or seri, or whatever it is, “Variety is the . B, Lewooo STICED, BRAIDED IN DARDANELLES Errecr. THere was TOUCH OF WARMTH AT THE THROAT. AN “Hane rt, Eruet, you've ARousep MY CURIOSITY. SUE WEAR? are good for some things; but were people satisfied with that? No, they had to have aserum for nosebleed and a broken legs. Then it was operations— adenoids, tonsils, appendices, subcutancous pustulary clisions, and so forth. That was yesterds Today, as you see, it is teeth. In the tiny abscesses at the roots of the teeth we find the source and spring of all physical suffering.” “I see, ‘Today’s meat is tomorrow's poison But isn’t that rather scandalous for the medical profession?" “No more than that your tailor should make you a pair of trousers instead of doublet and hose. As I said, public opin- ion obliges us to devise new methods, With most people an ounce of invention is worth a pound of cure. Before I left, he extracted a tooth and a five-dollar bill. I departed with a stinging pain in my jaw. My headache was gone, that was sure; but the substitute pain was worse, especially for one who is fond of toast, potato chips and peanut taffy. The next day I went back to Rakestraw to demand my headache back. I had consulted science in the wrong epoch for headaches. 12 psom looked strange as [ approached it. Through the windows I beheld various bathroom fixtures, and a sign swinging over the door told me that See WORE A MODIFIED Composé FROCK oF Poirfét TWILL WITH TRICOLET INTER- SOUTACHE WITH A MOTIF OF OPALESCENT BEADS AND CHENT UNDERBODY IN or VENUS GREEN WITH JUST A WUuAT KIND OF A DRESS DID n