Judge — June 25, 1921 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

r—Wo ARE YoU Why I usep To work HERE REGULAR.” “Yessinee! I's tur The Moon By Cuer Snarer an overhead system of lighting, the moon is one of the most dependable of public utilities. It rises and sets like the village loafer and decreases the working schedule of the Radiolite watch. If it were charged for by the kilowatt, hour, or the cubic centimeter, it would cost a lot of jack to become engaged. The theory that the moon was made of green cheese gained some credence in the past, but has since been proved erroneous Lt ble astronomers with highly developed olfactory centers. The moon makes an old man wish he was twenty and a young man wish he had two sets of arms. It softens the heart, tongue, head, and any tendency toward verbal thrift. State- ments are made in the moonlight that even a police court lawyer wouldn't try to prove. Any hookoo who has a girl that’s a hold- out can easily get her to sign under a wan- ing moon Before marria dog barks at the moon a splendor of the orb of night. riage he learns the real motive. The moon turns haughty beauties into naughty cuties. A combination of limpid eyes, lambent beams and placid lake will make even deacon swallow his: Adam’s apple forty times in succession and feel capable of playing an oboe. It makes them all edible. You can’t read them so well under the moon as under a Mazda, but you don’t want to. A moonlit beach, a peach, and an ample reach, is always listed in the memory book under the grouping of “Hot Dog!” Lincoln got his education by the light of the fireplace. a man believes that a a tribute to the After mar- TRAMP JOKE OF TWENTY YEARS AGO.” Countless savants have gained their knowledge slaving away with the midnight oil, Many have burrowed into great tomes. by the sputtering flame of the gas jet. But the real wise birds—the guys who are hep and jerry—learned most of their lessons in the moonlight! Going Up “Mildred’s fiancé was in the Aviation service during the war, was he not?” “Yes, and I'll wager that he will establish a new record for altitude flights when he discovers how much it costs to keep Mildred in clothes.” A Real Compliment Rub—You don’t look like the pictures I've seen of you in the newspapers = Dub—Thanks! Drawn by A. T. Menace “Ds Tue Seancner. TO MAKE AN INSPECTION, (“Summer Unrrep-Srates-Proutsrrion-Housenoiy- ‘That URN Looks susricious AND I'LL HAVE A Summer Jingle Old Rhyme) By Ricuaro Le Gatuenne UMMER is i-comen in,” And girls on beaches, Long and short, and fat and thin, In little breeches Ne’er a stocking, Shocking! Shocking! What young gentlemen Call “peaches,” Lie about Upon the sands, And laugh and shout, And wave their hands— Lily hands! To the jazz Of neighboring bands. is i-comen in” “Summer is i-comen in”’— Limousines Flash along the summer land Filled with And gents uproarious, Having, well, that kind of Known as gloric “queens, “Summer is i-comen in" — Hushed green places, Merry birds, And whispered words, And lovers’ faces; Lonely sheams And dreams and dreai And flash of laces: “O beloved, Iam yours Long as the green earth endure And the chipmunks Flit and peer, Not a soul to see or hear Blest embraces! Spontaneous Combustion Rub—What caused the fire? Dub—A large insurance policy Actose ur: “As Lexpecten, OVERLOOKED THIS PAMILY TRANCE AT THE REAR.” comicbooks.com