Judge — May 28, 1921 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

May 28, 1921 Ballade of Indigestion By Eowaxo Axtuony I WHO have specialized in spuds and steak, By way of victualage. since three or four, Gasp when I see a lovely lady take Her lunch in some apothecary store. And wonder, and shall wonder evermore, What there can be (O mystery!) to tickle Her palate in these items maids adore: \ soda and a cruller and a pickle! When Henrietta (what a bride she'd make!), The young enchantress who resides next door, Complains of —well a little stomach-ache, All solemnly the knowledge 1 deplore, Boapir, WHO HAS BEEN READING ABOUT tue Giant BLUNpeRBore, 18 SENT TO GET SOME CHloPs, And tell her how the maids in days of yore Unto their constitutions were less fickle, Eschewing chow that evil record bore, Like soda and a cruller and a pickle O heed my counsel for your family’s sake! Eat if you must. green apples to the core, Consume a parrot or a salted hake, Devour leaden biscuit by the score, Aye, every one of Nature’s rulings floor. Let moonshine whisky down your thorax trickle, Do anything you please, as you ignore A soda and a cruller and a pickle! Len Prince, cast me on your darksome isle ashore, Life on this planet isn’t worth a nickel, For I have downed—and, oh, my days are o’er!— A soda and a cruller and a pickle! Just Listen ub—Did you ever hear the voice of the people? Dub—Yes; it said, “Ouch!” RS fy Drawn by Cusnees Hocus Mr. Hippo—Gosu! 1 oventa axe coop AS A MOVIE-STAR, MYSELF! Literary Reviews in 1934 In the Common Court of Literary Censorship In and for the District of —— By Joux H. Axpexsox HIS book coming on tobe read upon applica- tion by the publishers for permission to cir culate and sell the same under the provisions of the Enforcement Act for the Thirty-third Amendment; and it appearing from excerpts offered in evidence by counsel for the prose<u- tion that the number of kisses, clopements, and divorces prescribed by the statute have been exceeded; and it further appearing that the commitment of high crimes and misdemeanors has been openly encouraged by the repeated reference to the police, and frequent mention of motor cars and prohibition, all of which is contrary to the statutes in such cases made and provided, therefore, IT 1S ORDERED, ADJUDGED AND DECREED that the aforesaid application of the publishers Drown by Cnsnues Hecaes “Suen! Reateamer, str, YOU ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF A LADY.” 27 for permission to circulate and sell the aforee said book be, and hereby is, refused and denied. Done AND ORDERED in this Common Court of Literary Censorship, this 12th Day of June, A.D. 1934. Smallnut Smudge, Jupce Word-Picturing “Johnny, you've scen our new neighbors. What kind of looking couple are they?” “Huh!—She looks like she smelled something awful.” “What does the man look like?” “He looks like what she smelled.” Draven by Curronn BL Kxreur Great INVENTION WHEN WE SAW THE FLAP-JAcKs ‘TURN THEMSELVES ON THE GRIDDLE, We FEARED THERE WAS SOMETHING THE MATTER; But Briwcer SURED US THAT NOTHING WAS. Sie MAD PLACED POP-CORN IN THE BATTER When They Were Children By Harowp TON AVID was always throwing stones. Aaron always feared the rod. Rebecca was not always well Daniel was always fixing up his den. Jehu was always playing horse Moses alway’s led the gang Pharaoh’s Daughter was always wading in the river. Absolom was always hanging around. Jonah was always telling fish storie The Queen of Sheba was always dressing up. And Shadrach, Meshech and Abednego always played janitor and fixed the furnace. ame Old Ailment North—When I knew Carstow a few years ago. he was the laziest man alive. West—He calls it social unrest now. comicbooks.com