Judge — May 21, 1921 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

re roe Your Car The price of some cars has come down—that of others has gone up. Which car will give you 100% value for your needs? The best car made might not serve your requirements as well as a cheaper one. You can have expert advice free of charge. If you want a car and will fill out this coupon completely — furnishing addi- tional details of your needs, if necessary—you can obtain the unbiased service of the Motor Department of Lestie’s W Ly. This free service is now made available to readers of Jupce. COUPON Haron W. Stauson, M.E. Manager, Motor Department Lesuie’s WEEKLY 225 Fifth Avenue New York City I am considering the purchase of a car to cost about $........ and am especially interested in one of the (make) exerermce cre como ad (PPE) My requirements for @ car are as fol-, lows: Capacity .....000000 Type of body. . Driven and cared for by . chauffeur Kind of roads over which car would be ovoned other cars of the follow wing makes: The following cars of approximately the type in which I am interested are handled by dealers in my territory: Please advise me as to the car best Suited to my requirements. Name.... Address. .....+.5 Ike the Psych By Besjastixy De Cassenes “Potterism” on “Main Street” was on the twenty-four-hour shuttle train between New York and Chicago. Every strap-hanger on this shuttle de luxe knows, of course, Ike the Psych. We Chi-NY commuters named him that long ago because Ike is the greatest psychoanalyst and poker-hand reader that we watch-your-steppers had ever met. Ike the Psych uncurled his face after his fourth pocket visit, fiith sweepstakes and tenth Sweet Cap and clocked this on us “What's the matter with our younger generation that we have raised up in the sweat of our five aces? They all seem to be wri books nowadays in which we are planted as boobs. Of course, all you Middle Westerners (Ike himself was born in Wabasha a small inter-hootch island in the Niagara River) have read ‘Main Street,’ where you are tanned proper. Well follow it up with ‘Potterism,’ by Kose Macaulay, which Boni & Liveright get out “Potterism is the English word for * Main Street.’ ‘oungsters who swat old pop Potter, Jon daily. They want a spade ade—when a man’s dead, say he’s dead, and not ‘passed away.’ They want to take t underwear off of words and ideas. If you've gota Cosmic Urge, take the whiskers off of it. They go after our smugness, our camouflage, our pandering our bid for circulation. ‘There's something in this, gents. The younger gencration is out for blood. Between you and me, we've left them a pretty rank world. Anyhow, ‘Potterism’ is the best book of the kind I've ever read—it's real psyching.” Just then the guard sang out: “Cleveland! Watch your step!” and Ike the Psych ceased. From Caviare to Five Aces LIVED in Russia a great many years until lately,” remarked Ike the Psych on the back trip on the Chicago-New York Shuttle. Ike never gets off anywhere. He lives in the smoking-room and eats and sleeps between freeze- outs “In 1912 I was transported to Siberia for fomente ing a euchre revolution in Skingamesky, a small town on the Vodka. I was shipped back to Russia for showing the prisoners how to make whiskey out of goat hair. When the revolution came I became a free Red, which meant I had to work fifteen hours a day at my trade, manufacturing caviare. I finally fled into a free capitalistic country, where I could loaf in the evening with my children. “So you see I read all the books on Russia which Ican pinch from the sleepers on the Shuttle n,” by Maurice G Henry Holt and the peasant at close ra Some of these peasants would you believe it?—have never even heard of Charlie Chaplin! In certain parts of Russia Wood row is not a household word! Edison and bathtubs are to come “What they need is food, says Ma of that! Others waive the food and m about land. Most of them die beyond the and I could see that myself from my work-wit while I was packing caviare “Personally I really believe the Russian peasant ought to be allowed to eat. Under the Czar there were so many red noses and blue laws and yell grafters Russia was quite colorful. Vs with Hindus that it’s a kind of washed-out place n merica’s good enough for me,” concluded Ike as be unfolded his copy of the Dearborn Independent Son of Power. Who his father was no one ever knew, but it was whispered in the best jungle socicty in India that it was the Maharajah of Flim-Flam, who possessed the famous bilious emerald. Skag had trained himself to talk to cobras de capello, nus, newts and periwinkles. Tigers ate y out of his pocket. Crows would peck at the wen on Skag’s head. Elephants nuzzled peanuts from Skag’s burnoose. Skag was literally a rein- camation of something. (“Son of Power,” by Will Levington Comfort; Doubleday, Page and Co.) One day while Skag was learning to conquer a gibboom in the Monkey Glen along comes Carlin, the Unattainable. But Skag’s eye was a regular ladder. He fixed his eye on Carlin just as he had on all the other Wild Things. She went his way, there being no Mann black-slave act in India A terrible mess starts brewing between the bot- tom of page 185 and the blank at the top of page 186. Gunpat, the Jungle Gopher, got out his dec- laration of war and started the chase for Skag. ‘The earth rose up, the heavens tipped, Police Com- missioner Hichens lost his hookah, the very Crust of Things had broken in. With his eye Skag sig- nalled his drove of elephants, bees and gunnywad- dies and parked his look on Gunpat. ‘Things went blooey and blah for Gunpat From that time on the election is never in doubt. Skag is inaugurated President of the Gray Ants and Carlin does her shopping in peace. And Gunpat became foreman of her elephant drivers. A Woman's Answer Willie couldn’t understand the theory of evolution, so he questioned his mother. “Mamma, am I descended from a monkey “T don’t know, son,” she replied. “I never knew any of your father’s people.” 30 The Barometer Ethel—How do you know the Dobsons have patched up their quarrel? Clara—Oh, I saw Mrs. Dobson this morning in Bimbles. She was trying on one of those twenty-five dollar hats! comicbooks.com