Judge — May 14, 1921 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Punishment—Mrs, Flathush—How is the new married couple getting along? Mr. Flatbush—Badly, very badly, I'm sorry to say. “You don’t mean to say he grumbles when his meals are late “Grumbles? Worse still. He sing: —Yonkers Statesman, Between Friends— Vel/—Is it really true that you're ing to divorce Bob? Bella—Ves, I'm tired of being alone Grand Rapids N Knew the Effect—Green— Don't you ever take your wife home a bouquet or a box of candy? Gayboy—Heavens, no! There’s no sense in voluntarily using her sus- picions.—Boston Transcript. Parting Is Sweet Sorrow—Barher— Shall I part your hair so that your bald spot is not in evidence? Customer—By no means. Tam suing my wife for divorce and that bald spot is part of the evidence.— New York Sun. Crushed!—“Do you remember the night you proposed marriage to me, dear?” asked the sweet young thing. “Very well indeed,” replicd the cruel man. “Those were two mighty good cigars you put out of business.”"—Yor- kers Statesman High Cost of Marriage—“‘It’s got so these d that a man can hardly wed unless he can show the girl two licenses.” wo licenses?” Yes, marriage and automobile.”— Haven Register. Ideal if True—The Princess Can- who was Julia Grant before her said at a dinner at Palm Ltacuzen “T once met Li Hung Chang at my grandmother’s house. The great Chi- nese statesman was cighty years old, but his mind was as charming and whimsical as ever. “My grandmother and he got into an argument about Chinese and American marriage customs, and Li Hung Chang said with twinkling eyes: “‘Your young people fall in love and then marry. Our young people marry and then fall in love. It is like two “MADAME Mrs. Idle —Cremsy! Bary witt cate “On, No MADAME, THE LITTLE RASCAL WA kettles of water. Yours, the American kettle, is taken at boiling point off the fire by marriage, and it grows cooler and cooler. Our Chinese kettle is full of cold rriage puts it on the fire, and it keeps getting warmer and warmer ever afterward, so that ’—and Li Hung Chang chuckled—‘so that after fifty or sixty years we are madly in love with each other.’ "—Detroit Free Press. He Knew the Answer Tutor—Civk AN EXAMPLE, MY BOY, PROV- ATEXPANDS AND COLD CONTRACTS. obby—Suxt, Proressor In sumer THE DAYS AKE LONG, WHILE IN WINTER THEY Ake sHoxt.—Le Journal Amusant (Paris). 7 “Filled with Fury, Rape’ IN RESCUING THE BABY FROM THE Winvow, I LET 1 coup. 5 BLANKET FALL!” DS ee sive or 1t!"—J.e Rire (Par UT a A Special Price—Owner—What will it cost me to have my car fixed? Garage Man—What’s the matter with it? “T don't know.” “Forty-cight dollars and fifty cents.” — New York Sun. Filling Station Gossip—Lew Mc- Call says that motorists who come through Columbus en route for Kansi City have about the following conversa- tion when they stop at the filling station here: If it’s a Cadillac, the “How far is it to Kansas € hundred and forty miles, “Gimme twenty gallons of gas gallon of oil,” says the driver. Then comes a Buick and the chauffeur says “How far is it to Kansas City?” “One hundred and forty miles.” “Gimme ten gallons of gas and a half gallon of oil.” and he drives on, Along comes a flivver and the driver uncramps himself, gets out and stretches and asks: “ How far is it to Kansas City?” “Oh, about 140 miles.” “Is that all? Gimme two quarts of water and a bottle of ‘3 in 1,’ and hold this son-of-a-gun until I get in.””—Co- lumbus Advocate, Iriver says y?” “One is the reply. nd a comicbooks.com