Judge, 1921-03-19 · page 17 of 36
Judge — March 19, 1921 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a short story illustration, not political satire. The narrative concerns a young man named Bob who, as a child, boasts to his sister Marjorie that he'll see women "in the morning"—meaning he'll judge them by their natural appearance rather than cosmetic enhancement. Years later, as a ladies' man, Bob falls for a girl from Atlanta. To teach him a lesson, Marjorie orchestrates a morning reveal: she exposes the girl's heavy makeup and artificial beauty enhancements applied the night before. The punchline involves Bob's disillusionment when he sees her unadorned face. The satire targets 1920s beauty culture and cosmetics—mocking both the elaborate artifice women employed and men's gullibility about feminine appearance. The Schopenhauer reference (visible in the caption) suggests philosophical commentary on romantic illusions. Published in Judge magazine's 1922 Dartmouth college issue, it's a morality tale about vanity and deception.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
=a ew e ltewvegungyes a “He MUTTERED & PA AGE OF SCHOPENMAUER AND SPILLED THE COFFEE” Morning Glory d by W.G. Sawyer, Dartmouth, '22 By Hartaxn » Maxcuester, Dart OF: J. A. Warprox) he hired out rted back in the Russian-suit days. His mother her, and of course Bob had to play with the ti ious Marjorie. Now comes the crucial moment. Your big sister is bee-cautiful!” said Bob, puttin Yes, Bobbie,” said Marjorie jealously, '*'sh t, 'n they all fall for her, just like that her teddybear, “but in the if I was a man, I'd see ‘em in the mornin, our youthful hero vowed that he would s and the recording angel banged the key's. forgot it all, but not the aforesaid angel. 7 up. I won't dwell on the deta long in his town. He beca flapperee, but ghting lady-killer Mfter disposing of the nice girls his mother picked « led gayly forth search of new ii 10 break to look. It was a blond— ed into her nd spilled c disappointment thical perfect orning; for, onl: vin ay were the subte ia this last, undeniable ¢ successful. True, in one ¢ climbed up the side . stuck his head in. the . and yelled fire—and ne did, but by the flare of the liar sight, and was once more di: ocial world was all agog ove: om college—little Marjorie, B id.” agreed Bob, , and for the mo: ed variety, the vivac days of Russian suits. e kid was distinctly All-America ly went around to call on her vid friendship So he thought as he and Luc! the gare turned, he conceded n damn pretty more ardent, untit matters culminated ith her and s; sure sign that fth consecutive dance, talking whenever practicable. feelings he moon began to do back-flips he caught himself and when he foi d to a safe landing. That night when h is T hing. see e test, Watson! But how? Easy! He went Someone, you remember at five in the morning, and when angel. Marjorie rose at fo nd asked wa rouged her | ly 20¢ g powder from the shoulder of to say, “See 'em in the morning, E toa house-party and yelled “Fire! stuck her head out of the door ii is breast. 5 At last after a discouraging series of wrong tips, there zirl from Atlanta. He fell for her warm s her “Ah like you, Bob!” Hold on, man! Th but he is our hero, “nuff sed. had heard his vow besides the rec the next g and started to ‘ penciled her cyebr inted her retrousséed her nose, pearled her teeth, stered her ame the shelled her cars, and twinkled her eyes. five hours of and labor she smiled in triumph. Carefully looking over her © she selected the brown and blue. ning a i with sunlight. Then she went to the “phone. Carefully’ dise