Judge — March 19, 1921 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

} } ft Drawn by R. M. Fosten, Penn State College The Wise Vircix Trisaixnc Her Lawes Wet Goods ME. PLUMLEY was embarrassed, and well might he be. For. the IVI ‘suitcase he was carrying had sprung a leak! And as he walked swiftly n the street it seemed that everyone glanced down at the t something was wrong. Curses on that Pro- it had been passed people noticed anyone who car through the crowd leather bag and saw t hibition law! Ever ried a package—especially a suitcase A policeman eyed! him suspiciously and Plumley hurried faster than ever, almost breaking into arun. He boarded a street car and placed the bag on the floor in front of him, trying to cover it with his feet as much as possible It was useless. The stuff continued to trickle out and soon formed a minia tu ol. Some of ngers looked envious; strap- hangers saw it and smiled; even the ignorant-appearing wop in the next seat looked wise! But all Plumley could do was to turn several colors and wish them all in Hades? In something like a year the car arrived at his suburban home. “Were you able to get any?” asked his wife at once. “Yes,” said Plumley, throwing the suitcase to the floor with a ba “‘plague take “em! Those are the last oysters I'll ever carry home Warken J. Mitter, University of Pennsyleania, '23. Prerequisites to Harvard or dya wanna goto Yale? Dya say you're goin’ Princeton and maybe then to jail? Now, if Harvard seems to b Crimson you would wear, be sure your family has much dot Fight fiercely, and be fair! You gotta have an awful line and speak that English brogue, cause down at Hawvaad snaking now is simply all the vor But if you wanna go to Yale, you needs mus’ smoke a pipe, a mere Three-B will never do: a dunbill'd be quite ripe. You wanna have a manly chest to wear that sweater blue, and swearing must be born within—you gotta dance well too. If Princeton seems to be the one your folks have found most fit. learn how Finchley’s coats are cut and for John's sake learn to knit. Get the dope on those thé dansants and cultivate your line, talk of the Biltmore 1 the Ritz when you go out to dine. So the whole thing simply dwindles wn: do you swear, knit, of d If you can pass those college board pick one and take the chance'—CLareNce L, Coumman, Jx., Cornell, ' J wanna Lilacs in November IVING out the last few years of his life in a distasteful boarding house seemed to be all that was left for Tobias Quinton. Life with its rush and roar had swept on, leaving him behind in a stagnan pool withdrawn from the living current. ‘The awful monotony of old age and the sentimental memories of youth brought to him a dull feeling of infinite loneliness. If only there was someone in his life to care for him or even take the slightest interest in him. But there was noone, Life was an empty room with blank, windowless walls. While lying awake one memory-crowded night, an idea came to him and, in anticipation of its execution, he fell into a dreamess sleep. In the morning he spent some time sitting at his table, la jously formulating an advertisement in which he sought “a pretty Ito correspond with a lonely war-hero.”” He mailed the note to a wspaper and returned buoyantly happy. With breathless expectancy he searched the two daily mails. For al days no letter greeted him but on the third he hurried back ne to his room grasping a blue envelope, addressed in a large, flowing hand : Life took on a new aspect for Tobias Quinton. In this ni role his lost youth came back and the robe of loneliness dropped Letters came regularly, to which he replied with an equal regulazity were youthful letters, colored with romance and imagina- tion, boyish and naive, matching her girlish phrases of admiration for mythical deeds over-seas. He, of course, avoided any mention ‘0 broach the subject hi of a meeting, and she seemed to wait for hi So his secret was safe, he thought And so letters came and went for a year or so until one day Tobias Quinton was stricken with pneumonia and after a brief battle, died. In a dreary back room in another part of the city, an old woman with a wistful, troubled face sat in a rickety chair, wondering why her g soldier did not reply to her letters.—Aixen Retcuxer, Princet Showing Off HE, young man and his best girl go t show What the young man thinks the others think “Say, but I gotta peach of a girl tonight; bet every guy in the house is wishin’ he was here in my shoes by her side. I guess she ain't tickled with her little self to have me bring her and get seats right up in front. Maybe I ain't no Adonis, but I fit this dress suit like it was made for me. Gotta get me one some day.” What the best girl thinks the others think: “Thave to hand it to Bill for knowing enough to get orchestra seats when he’s got a good-looking girl with him. Gee, but I bet these dames would like to have my good looks. I guess I made a big hit with Bill tonight, but I'm not going to accept him when maybe I can land a fellow with a million or two. Nobody has got anything on me in the way of looks, and they know it too. I'll bet a lotta ‘em are raving about my complexion, too. What the audience thought about them! Not a dawgone thing'—Cuartrs W. Prasy, Pennsylunia, ‘22 Easy “Is the old H. C. L. striking you hard?” inguired the sop! newly-married senior. “Not yet.” replied the harrassed one. “You see, I buy all her clothes at an instalment house where you doll ‘er up for a dollar down.” —Hontesst Rowents, University of Minnesota, '24. omore of the Draven by Gro. J. Keates, Columbia University ‘21 on LANs sake, AtLas! Dip it nurt yun?” WAL, SHOULD YO" JUDGE FROM DE CHARACTER OB LANGUAGE DA Aul’S JES’ BEEN USIN’, DAT IT DONE ME ANY DOGGONE Goop?”