Judge, 1921-03-12 · page 11 of 32
Judge — March 12, 1921 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Grand Old Days" - Political Satire on Moral Panic This is satirical commentary on conservative efforts to regulate young women's behavior and sexuality, likely from the 1920s Jazz Age era. The illustration shows "witches" (modern young women) being called before a "Beauty Haters League" tribunal that invokes Puritan imagery—referencing Salem witch trials and colonial-era moral enforcement. The propaganda poster demands "SAVE OUR YOUNG MANHOOD" from these supposed threats. Walt Mason's accompanying text mocks nostalgic conservatives who romanticize harsh historical punishments (pillories, witch-burnings, ducking stools) as solutions to contemporary "sin." The satire is that these reformers now target "vamping" young women with bobbed hair and makeup instead of actual witches—yet lack legal power to enforce their moral codes. The joke: fundamentalist crusaders mourned lost tools of social control while modern women evaded traditional restrictions. Mason presents their frustration as absurd and outdated, defending women's freedom against authoritarian moralism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Wer WAVE THE WITCHES WITH US STILL; WE SEE THEM VAMPING WITH A WILL. BEAUTY THE PURITANS KNEW BEST TO THE STAKE WITH WITCHES! HATERS’ SAVE OUR YOUNG MANHOOD (ron ve) wee oe CONORESS were WILL YOU Jon Us? Grand Old Days By Warr Masox Tlustration by Raveu Barton HROUGH mists of tears I often gaze far back- ward, to the grand old days, of which we read in books; then blue laws taught men how to walk, and there was no such godless talk as this new era brooks. The pillory was made to cure the very sins we now endure without rebuke dr frown; it was an instrument sublime that put the lid on local crime —‘twas found in every town. If Hiram Smith or Richard Roe played dice or euchre for the dough, the pillory was theirs; and while they stood, on wobbly legs, men pelted them with ancient eggs and old dead cows and mares. Loften think what gaudy times saints must have had rebuk- ing crimes in that sweet distant day; but now the wise old laws are dead; no henfruit hits the sinner’s head, he laughing goes his wa: Isigh and yearn for days of yore, for time when witches held the floor, as doubtless you have yearned; for then the righteous man might say, “A witch lives just across the way,” and she was promptly burned. If some old woman’s nose was hooked, she was a witch, her goose was cooked, her protests were in vain; and if she kept an old black cat, who could dispute such proof as that? Her guilt was doubly plain. When there was no one in the stocks at whom the saints might throw some rocks, they'd rustle up a witch; oh, every minute was sublime, with something doing all the time, and life was full and rich We have the witches with us still; we see them vamping with a will, and dare not throw a brick; they are not shriveled up old dames, but ardent girls whose eyes shoot flames, and they are smooth and slick. They are adored by gay young men, they are portrayed by poet's pen, and by the artist’s brush; but they are witches just the same; the way they play their sinful game must make the righteous blush But now we cannot bake the girls who try the vamping graft on carls, reporters, judges. clerks; a hireling press would stand on end and let its ribald wrath descend on us and all our works. We righteous have but little chance the cause of Virtue to advance, the Truth to usher in; we may but reprimand the gang, we've no authority to hang the followers of sin. We're striving now for stringent laws to bolster the aforesaid cause. without{them, sin prevails; they'd place a bludgeon inour hand by which we might reform the land and fill the country’s jails We haven't e’en the ducking-stool, we may not brand the erring fool who breaks the Sabbath d. und so our efforts to reform the idle,vicious human swarm, are efforts thrown away Oh, help us, friends, with purse and jaws, to get the greatly needed laws, and stars will deck your crown; we want the pillory brought back, we want the thumbscrews and the rack in every sinful town.