Judge, 1921-02-19 · page 9 of 32
Judge — February 19, 1921 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Up-to-Date St. Valentine's Day" This is a humorous poem satirizing modern Valentine's Day customs, presented as a parody of Shakespeare's *Hamlet* ("Good morrow, 'tis St. Valentine's Day"). The joke contrasts romantic tradition with practical reality: a suitor attempts the classic gesture of serenading his love beneath her window, but modern inconveniences—cold weather, a stuck window, the builder's poor craftsmanship—make the romantic gesture ridiculous and uncomfortable. Rather than offering flowers or jewelry, the poem humorously suggests practical gifts like tea. The accompanying cartoon "A Lock-Out" visually reinforces this: a figure bundled against snow appears to give up the courtship attempt entirely, abandoning romance for warmth and comfort. The small joke below about a "Faint Fat Shopper" puns on corsets (which restrict the waist/stomach), implying one must visit the corset counter to "drink" anything—likely a Prohibition-era reference to hidden alcohol.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Drawn by PD. douxsoy \ Locx-Our Up-to-Date St. Valentine’s Day | By La Tovucur Hancock food morrow, “tis St. Valentine's Day, all in the morning betimes”—The Other Bard. aati ncaa 1. ope thy casement, lady mine! The mist is on the hil, (‘Twere best, perhaps, to don thy wraps Forfend thou get a chill!) feast of good St. Valentine Is well upon its way, And rivalry has bid me try To be thy love today e For love may ebb, and love may flow But oft there comes a time, you know, When chaps to cut one out prepare, And then ‘tis well to be ‘all there! Or jewels rare to deck thy hair, Or half a pound of tea? For love may flow, and love may ebb, But comes the 14th day of Feb And lovers, who would not be mean, Must bring their tokens on the scene. Deuce take thy casement, lady mine, (L will not be gainsayd), The builder wight has fixed it tight, Just like his jerry trade! I'm catching cold, my Valentine, Within my precious head And so this bard will leave his card, 5 Do ope thy casement, lady mine, And toddle home to bed With cold my nose is blue; My teeth are sets of castanets, For love may flow, and love may ebb, And all for love of you; But hang the 14th day of Feb, Say, shall I bring thee eglantine, And catch me getting up again Or posies fair to see, In all this mist and soaking rain! wrens ere Se eee § Directed Last Resort Faint Fat Shopper—Where can I get something to stay my stomach? Floor Walker—At the corset-counter—rear third. Yes, it’s the only “ Prohibition is keeping men at home more.” place where you can drink with