Judge, 1921-01-22 · page 9 of 32
Judge — January 22, 1921 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "People We Know" - A Satirical Essay on Unwanted Honesty This is a humorous essay by Walt Mason (illustrated by Ralph Barton) satirizing three types of socially irritating men defined by their different failures of tact. **Benjamin P. Bings** represents the brutally honest man who "always calls a spade a spade"—he relentlessly points out others' physical flaws (thinning hair, shabby appearance) under the guise of truthfulness. The author argues that Bings has made "a crime" of his unsympathetic candor. **Pete Adolphus Pinn** is the well-meaning busybody who constantly points out the narrator's dishevelment (missing tie, ink on his eye) while claiming to help. The author finds such "helpful" criticism more offensive than actual vice. **The unnamed "hick"** is the hypochondriac friend who constantly warns the narrator he looks deathly ill, offering unwanted medical advice. The satire's point: tactless honesty, unsolicited concern, and intrusive "help" are more annoying than actual character flaws. True friendship means leaving people alone.
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People We Know By War Mason by Ilustration ALWAYS call a spade says Benjamin Bings; which means that {to pleasant things. He takes a pride in“ talking straight in speaking out his mind; and so this Benjamin we hate he is not afta youn 1s We pursue our grind He speaks his mind at any cost truth is oftentimes a frost that much affliction lends [have a thinning thatch, and baldness to me hies; perhaps my whiskers do not match the color of my eyes; perhaps my legs are d bent, and wabble when TE walk; but these so he has few friends; for Perhaps outwa ure things no perfect gent would mention in his talk But here comes Benjamin P. Bings to my intense despair and many a ghastly jest he springs about my thinn hair And if T show that U'm dismayed by his display of tact 1 lways call a spade a spade,” he says, “a fact a fact.” Now L[ would call a spade a door, a cradle or a churn, before I'd make your spirit sore, and make your anger burn. And I have friends where’er I go, among all kinds of gents, and nearly any one L know would lend me fifty cents. But Bings. calls a spade is lonesome all the time; this man spirit unafraid, has made himself a crime Then there is Pete Adolphus Pinn; he’s also greatly feared he There's egg your beard.” He wants to be a helpful jay, or do some kindly deed Ige. with all my speed spade with says, stain on your chin, and grape juice on but when [ see him come my way, L Raten Barton something's crooked or amiss. about the way I’m dressed hold that ignorance by knowledge I'm distressed. am an absent-minded guy. my bearings oft L lose, and some times L forget my tie, or fail t And friend who love me then pretend that they see nothing wrong, ane ay L wend, till Peter comes along. “You have no tie! Your shoestrin, ink upon your eye—you surely is bliss. lace my’ shoes. cheerily my “What, ho ar like fun!” I know that Peter means the guile; but I could cleave him to the chest he cries. unc in him™ there and do it with best is ne smile T often think well meaning guys. like Pete Adolphus Pint are more offensive to our eyes. than fellows stecped in sin ted hick who wearics me to death; he He say There is a most dev always saying Llook sick and have a corpselike breath look my eyes look dull and dead, my skin is like old plush, and on the corner of my head there is a hectic flush. He follows me aroun: the block, and much advice he spills; he urges me and buy all kinds of pills. I ought to love this friendly hick. his motive: greatly fears that [ll fall sick and dic be But when I sce him come along. still viewin feel the wish—I know it’s wrong—to do him often, often seems to me, when [ bask en my throne, the bes are sublime; hy ime with dly harm. remy tlarm: and truest friend is he who lets a gent alor see the doc I t