Judge — January 15, 1921 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Far from Independent—“ You are a fortunate man,” said the automobile tourist “How's that?” asked the farmer. “You are monarch of all you surve “T guess you are wrong, stranger. 1 still owe nine installments on that tractor you see, my hired man won't pay any attention to what I say and th a mortgage on the old home place Birmingham Age- Herald. Aimless ‘Some of these rusticators lead an aimless existence,” commented the Maine farmer. “They do,” answered the hired man 1 ing by the way they shoot at deer and hit a guide.” — Washington Star. mer— The favorite The Amateur F; n of a well-kr urm near Chics n surgeon is his avoca It pays no model profit except great pleasure. He is hos pitable, always asking friends to dinner about noon fourteen unex pected guests arrived. His wife was aghast. “My heavens,” she said, “we ta thing to give them.” “Oh r. So have anything will do,” said the doc the lady of the house consulted the cook “What about that crate of pigeons out in the barn?" asked the k. “How many are there?” asked the lady “About eighteen. was the answer. “Well, wring their necks and fix them up.” Dinner was served and the large platter of ght to the table. “What's that?" exclaimed the doctor. ow, Fred, just go ahead and serve.” said his wife. “But what are ust some quabs was | these?” he expostulated. pigeons we found in the barn,” she an swered. “My God!" he exclaimed, “ pigeons cost twenty-five dollars apiece!” —Journal of the — American Medical Association The Spotlight Scramble—" I'd kind 0’ like to go to an old-fashioned dance,” said Farmer Corntossel 1 mean one of those affairs where the fiddler called the figures?” inquired Si Simlin “Yep. Wonder if we couldn’t get one up?” ‘ota chance. You couldn't get any kind of a crowd together these days that ‘ud think of allowin’ one man to do all the talk besides bein’ the instrumental Star. Washing! Spirit of the Press Tuave aN Er FOR AS — The Easiest’ Way Young Collins irom the West was spending the summer on the farm of his Eastern uncle, and offered to assist the farmer They had been making hay one after n, and after finishing a high hay k, the young fellow called from the top “Say, uncle, how am I going to get down?” The old farmer studied the problem a nally solved it to his own minute, and satisfaction. “Oh, just shut your eyes and. walk a bit!” Harper's Magazine aroun ! You're It! Ske—It's vervectty ripicuLous! Here WE'VE WAITED ALMOST SIX HOURS WITHOUT A CHANCE He—Wr THE SHORT ONE, Tt THE arric.—Le Rir 19 CROSS. Let's praw straws. Ir I Get WE THE GOAT AND STOr Par tor—Goov. Most NEwsParew ARTICLES NEW NOTE MERELY NoTE A New steIKE.—Weebly Tele YE RS The Judge Was Stumped—Police Judge Cohen, quizzing John World, ac- rd of assault’ and battery, asked, Why did you hit this man? “Wha’, judge.” the negro “ wha’ would you all do if sor ya’ a ‘kinky headed loafer’? But I haven't got kinky hair,” said the jud “Well,” drawled World, “what would you all done if he called ya da kind of headed loafer dat you is?"-—Toledo Blade A Fertile Cross-Examination—In a case recently tried there did not seem to be much to be gained from the principal witness, who evinced a wonderful facility for holding his tongue. But the lawyer who was cross-examining him persisted. “You say your boat picked up the ac- cused at nine o'clock or thereabouts,” he said. “Tt has been stated that he jumped overboard nearly an hour before that time. Tell me, how did he appear to you when you picked him up? If you had been required to give an opinion of him then, what would you hav “Well, Pll tell you, honest,” replied the witness. “I should have said that he was one of the wettest, if the wettest man, that ever I see!" —Harper’s Maga- said?” comicbooks.com