Judge — December 18, 1920 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Your Car The price of some cars has come down—that of others has gone up. Which car will give you 100% value for your needs? The best car made might not serve your requirements as well as a cheaper one. You can have expert advice free of charg If you want a car and will fill out this coupon completely — furnishing —addi- tional details of your needs, if necessary—you can obtain the unbiased service of the Motor Department of Lestie’s WEEK- ty. This free service is now made available to readers of Jupce. COUPON Haron W. Stausox, M.I Manager, Motor Departmen Lesuir’s WeeKty 25 Fifth Avenuc New York City purchase of a proximat to my requirements Wame Address Ears By Cner Suarer ARS are the handles which enable an irate mother to orient her recalestrant son They are the auricular organs, an¢ the harmony stop is always out. Girls keep them sequestered, revealing them oniy during watermelon time. They afford parking space for the jade bangles of the vamp. Large cars dencte generosity small cars—parsimony; cauliflower cars— Mar quis of Queensbury. Ears extremely notice able to the wearer of a hard hat in winter. - Dur: ing the recent war the Senegalese collected the cars of the Germans they killed. Souven so to speak. When a man’s ears burn it’s a sign some one is talking about him. This is infallible in the case of a prisoner waiting for a jury to come in It’s his earache that usually makes Eric irri table. Who among us can not remember the time when mother heated a teaspoonful of glycerine over the sitting-room lamp and poured itin an to allay the pain. Ears are oftimes boxed prior to outbound movements. Many a young man who lacks talent entertains by w This often makes a decided hit marries a hookoo with this ‘ers later on gling his ears. but the girl wh accomplishment generally di PAUL SCOLD + Drown by Pact Gooww + 1. McK JUDGE that he neglected to cultivate the more impor tant trick of shaking a leg. Ears are practically indispensable in carrying on conversation. But for the ears a front porch campaign: would be unsuccessful because the voter would vote according to the dictates of hisown conseience. Without ears the mortality rate among pedestrians would be 104 per cent Nothing would have | nificance than a col lege yell. The father of seven youngsters would be able to rent an apartment. The minister and the auctioneer would seck a quiet job in the boiler factory. And the phonograph busines: would soon be about as profitable as manufac turing toe pads for buggies and surries A Pad Poem By Wa. S. Apwins HE girl was thin, her case was sad Of course the damsel had to pad She padded here, she padded there But only made the neighbors stare. For fashion with its merry: quips Was always shifting waists and hips She padded wrong, as things befell And now she’s in a padded cell Tur Cuarstaas Crossroyns