Judge — December 11, 1920 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Deven by Hat Bromnow rs When Santa ice-packed river, toy-manufacturer. N a roof-top that overlooked the Mr. S. Claus, philanthr and all-‘round good fellow, pulled up his sleigh for the first delivery. “Now,” said he, rubbing his hands gleefully, “to make some poor folk happy. Here is the home of a humble stevedore. I shall cram his boots with La Bummo Cigars Honest Mike Cut Plug. I shall leave his wife that flowered kimono she has been sighing for, and for the children Oho. won't their little hearts be glad when they sce how I've done And with a roar and a chuckle, Santa slid down the by them!” chimney Emerging from the fireplace, the good immediately started shooting his pocket flashlight about the room in an effort to locate the children’s stockings. But in vain; there were no stockings, neither was there a Christmas-tree on which to hang his gif *“ Poor kid: hosiery! Ab, the proud poor! Old Santa doesn’t intend to forget his little friends. Bob! Now just where shall [ leave these things?"* He was pulling his whiskers reflectively, wondering what would be the best place to deposit his present, when the door opened, and a portly boy, clad in knickerbockers and sporting an incipient mustache, stepped into the room. “Whoinell are you?” said the youth ungently. ‘There was no surprise in the young man’s voice, no ation upon secing this saint ighed Santa, “‘ashamed to hang up their holey But stockings or no stockings. No, sirree The Size of It “There'll be no tipple at the Christmas feast this year.” “No; the only thing we can bottle is our wrath, my boy!" By Wholesale I'm sure that no one works so hard To bring about good Yuletide cheer, For I am he who—cheerful bard Turns Christmas cards out year by year. Claus By Cyrut I Was Pinched 3. EAGAN merely a note of contempt, of indignant stranger in his home proprietorship. “Why, bless your little heart,” cried his would-be benefactor, “I'm Santa Claus! You poor little chap, did you never know there was a Santa Claus?” “Ain't never heard of him,” abrupted the Blasé Boy; raising the unmusical and uncertain ve f premature adoles cence—" Hey, Pop... 0. Pop! there's a gink’s got in here who says his monicker is Klaw! Come in here, willva, and give him the O. 0.2" There was the sound of heavy footsteps along the passage and a red-faced, thick-set man with a diamond like a rock “What's the then way on his third dextral digit burst into the room row?” “Why, no row at all,” said Santa in an apologetic tone of voice, a bit nervous in the presence of this bristling and for midable gentleman. “No row at all. TL am only Santa Claus come to give you all presents for Christmas, And oubt, are the humble stevedore who is the head of you, no this house?” “Humble stevedore nothing!” roared the red-faced man “T'm a stevedore all right; but let me tell vou, old geezer, Pm as well off as the next and I take no‘charity from nobody, Kid this Santa alibi sounds like bull to me. Call up Police Head quarters for a brace of cops. Tell ‘em there’s been another fat-worker out after the family jools, and we're holdin’ him till they come he Compelling Factor Why did Markley mortgage his limousine? ’o pay for a Christmas present marked “From Your Rarrus Menkle Loving Wife. The Beast She—1 haven't a decent gown to my name. He—All right, wear one of those indecent ones. you in those low-neck things without a hack. I just love