Judge — December 4, 1920 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

aved by His Love “Howestiy, Huwert, wuat wourp you HAVE DONE IF FATHER HAD REFUSED You MY HAND? Hubert—Horrors, Hortense! I'd sint- Le Journal PLY HAVE Amusant BEEN (Par A BANKRUPT Something Similar—An — English tourist was on a visit to Arran and de- cided to have a day’s fishing. He made inquiries of local experts, and on being told that the cleg, or horsefly, would suit his purpose for lure, he sought the high- land servant girl at his inn. “T say, my girl, can you get me some horseflies?” he The girl looked at him stupidly. He repeated his question and added: “Why, girl, did you never see a horse fly?” Naa, sir,” replicd the girl, shaking her head, “but wance I saw a coo jump ower a cliff.’—Chicago Daily News. asked. No Explanation Needed—“ What is meant by an autocracy of the proletar iat?” “Have you ever had words with your “Oh, yes.” “Then you ought to know."—Bir- mingham Age- Herald, Better Still—With a clatter and a roar the steam shovel dug its relentless claws into the bank, picked up about a carload of earth and dumped it into a waiting truck “That's just it,” sneered a tired-look- ing man who was standing by. “It makes me wild to see a piece of ma- chinery taking the bread out of honest men’s mouths.” “Don't quite see how you make that out!” remarked the foreman in charge of the gang. “Well, isn’t that machine doing the work quicker than 100 men with picks and shovels could ir” “That's se agreed the foreman. “And, according to that argument, wouldn't it be better still to employ 10,000 men with toothpicks and salt Pittsburgh Chronice-Telegra ph, spoons?"” An Idea—I'm going to advertise for a man troubled by insomnia. “What's the idea “ Every other man we've tried has gone to sleep on the job, and I thought we might get somebody who will awake that way.”—Louisville Journal. stay ier- Concerning Chickens—An Atlanta asked an old darky what breed of chickens he considered the be “All kinds has dere merits,” repli Cwsar, after a moment’s consideration. “De white ones is de easiest to find, but de black ones is de casiest to hide aftah yo’ gits — Harper's Maga zine. The Promised Man—Two negroes were working in a coal-bin in a Missis- i town, one down in the bin thro out the coal and the other outsic ing a shovel. ‘The one inside picked up a large lump and heaving it carelessly into the air, struck the other a resounding blow on the head. As soon as the victim had recovered from his momentary daze he walked over to the edge of the bin and, peering down at his mate, said: “Nigger, how come you don’t watch where you throws dat coal? You done hit me smack on the haid.” The other one looked surprised. “Did I hit you, nigger?” “You did,” came the answer. “And I jes’ wants to tell y I’se been promising the debil a man a long time, and you certainly does resemble my promise.” ning Post sho’ Her Painful Platitude Pre ine Bridget BEST LITTLE DOG FOR CLEANIN’ THE PLATES LIVER HAD IN A KITCHEN WID MEW 19 (taking her departure)—But nerore I co, I'tt. say THIS—THAT You've co THE London Mait.