Judge — November 27, 1920 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

hy Ganoren 0, Mes As A RESULT OF THE THOVGHTRULSESS oF THE Wate! 1s NOW ARLE TO TAKE HER MORN Lucius UCIUS held his grape-juice highball knowingly to the light “This prohibition is making a man of me,” he confided. “Lucius.” [ said sternly, “it makes not the slight- est difference in your pale existence. Other abstainers have the grace to pipe the dirge for beer and light wines. The real mourn- ers’ grief is too deep for tears. But you —vou gloat, you beast without a heart.” ‘Not so,” he protested. “Eve a heart what of me? In the dear, dead years, when the t. b. m.’s took their ease at their club of a Saturday night, Ud be among them but not of them. I'd slink into a corner with my innocu lass, hoping that if [ didn’t prove churlish they'd let me stay’ and watch the hilarious rout—and when the merry jest and quip began to be bandied back and forth, and mayhap hither and yon, some idiot from the library would swoop down on 1 and say, ‘Tut, tut, dear fellow, you can’t be left thus with “I polloi’—leaving out ‘the’ with ‘hoi polloi’ to show he'd an un digested education—and I, jellyfish that Twas, would go up and play charades or favorite quotations or * Ancestor, ancestor, whe has the ancestor?’ with him.” “And now?" T asked, because he wanted me to. “Now Tam among them and of them. They can’t call for madder music and for stronger wine, because all wine is gro juice outside of private stock, and when any little genealogist wants me to play at forty ancestors with hin, [ tell him to go act in the living present, because my grandfather was a captain of r any skate, but CONSTITUTIONAL WITHOUT BEING Orders By HS. Mes. Van Satecnincton- Tass NTRUSION OF THE SUN. SUCCE TH THY Tea STUCKEY muleteers on the raging Eric Canal, and t'other sold whiskey to the Indians.” Just then Ambrose Dufileby, our genial Representative in Congress assembled, passed through the grill room and out into the night. concealing behind a Websterian front the fact that he had been replenishing his war chest at the ex- pense of certain students of American antiquities in the card room. “Who's the undertaker?” Lucius asked idly. I told him, and his indifference vanished “Go after him,” he commanded. Bring him back. Can T meet him?” “There aren't any ambassadorships available at present, my poor fellow,” L offered, “and anyway the most successful offic secker usually knows whether he is a Republican or a Dem erat.” “Don't be a fool!” w an investigation starte “You, too? Oh, my poor friend!” was‘all L could say. “TE demand an investigation of mail order houses,” he per sisted. “They're deadly things -home wreckers.” “So Jane has succumbed at last and is wasting your sub stance? Isthought she merely’ sniffed when you found your beautiful unvarnished corncobs in the catalogue, and gloated and found you'd or “T merely want s Lucius’s rude reply openly when you sent the wrong numb lered ten pounds of chewing tobacco instead of box of cigars. Did you send the stuff back?” “No. Ttwas my mistake, wasn’t it? I'm smoki