Judge — October 30, 1920 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a { ‘ Crass’ Way FORMERLY KNOWN AS CHECONA EVANS ALE A Generous, Hearty, Subs tantial, Cool Weather Beverage SUPPLIED IN CASES BY GOOD OAL ERS C.M. EVANS &50N! JUDSON. NY See Sor comfort | Every pair guaranteed MADE AT SHIRLEY MASSACHUSETTS The Love Pension By Ava Parterson QE s001 thing has come out of the Elwell It isa phrase. The phrase is “love pension. Elwell was said to be said to be a poor man. Also that he teetering on the brink of bankruptcy. But on one point there was unanimity—he had a long pension list! His resources were taxed to the uttermost by his “love pensions.” Women have taken up the phrase. They have caught it up and rolled it as a tidbit of supreme flavor upon their lips. Nine-tenths of the women I know want one. “Yes,” says the washlady as she tucks an extra handkerchief into her basket, “this washin’s a hard life. Wish I had a love pen- “I'm sick of the uncertainties of the stage,” say’ the actress. “I wish somebody would giv + me a love pension.” \ respectable housewife frowns as she reckons her account with the butcher. She sighs as she fills in a blank check with the total. “If I were only some one’s love pensionnaire!”” she a rich man. He was was moans. But there's a drawback. The women who want love pensions couldn’t get them, and the women who could get them, don’t want them. A Cynic's Comment Mrs, Dyer—Here's an odd ad: “Young women wanted for hanging up, shaking out and folding.” Dyer Must be a call for shimmy dancers. Snoppy-Quops No. 16 Spring-Song Trrcous and fF By Wa. C. S. Murray SE 2 here’s a flute “ormed by the snoot JUDGE CASCARETS | “They Work while you Sleep” ( \ ) \ 4 mm H eR Knock on wood! You're feeling fine, | eht ‘s great! Keep the entire | family that way always with — | , A occas iver and | bowels, When bilious, constipated, head- | i; ir a cold, upset | | breath, nothing acts j iping, no inconven- ] ats. i LEARN PIANO! I This Interesting Free Book Of Signor Snoppy-quoppo; fa “The Maiden’s Prayer” He plays with care, i Allegro ma non troppo. j He once essayed A serenade, The poor inamorate | He caught the flu. Warning And couldn't do : A single Pizzicato. By Grace McKinstry HERE are our careful doctors, aforal, W 1 aint where's the Bord of Health? If you're all right, Trimmed hats are bringing in disease, Then go ahead; And not at all by stealth. But if you're not, Then go to bed | ‘The shops are advertising | Quite boldly (next the news): A Girl's Preference | “On Saturday, a Sale of Hats, He—Which do you like the best, the movies | And Some Have Ostrich Flues.” or the theatre? She—The movies | Well, let the ostrich bury “Why?” His head in sand, and sneeze! “ The theatre is too light for me.” His feathers may be good for us, | But who wants his disease ? The Newly Luxurious | Wifey—Any news? | Substitute Piety Hubby—(reading paper)—Yes. Plumber's Jack—Is Tom lazy? daughter eclopes with his _ third-assistant Jim—I should say so. When we roomed chauffeur. together at college, he would wait until I finished my prayers and say “Amen,” Over the 'Phone “TL called you up last night, but got no an- Level-Headedness bs Vere you all out?” | “I think our cook is going to leave!” di | “Well, make sure, before you offer the car.” Regarding Editorial, Subscription and Raeertining Matters Main office—Brunswick SUBSCRIPTION _ OFPICES: Building, 235 Fifth Avenue, NEW VORK. Wm. Dawson & Sone. Li Koodon. EC. England. An Postage sree in the Fro Canadian Provinces add 50 cents 0'y foreign countries add $ year and, 1910, 45 cent ‘cents each; 1 afdentiats f agate tine CEI bbe SS as the ‘sew must be sent in with requert for the change European agent es connected with JUDGE wick Bldg 22§ Fifth Marquette Bide. Chicago. Henry Bldg. ‘Subscriber's old address as well Also appearing on the right band side of th takes from ten days to two New Vork City naider jokes asd mmpanied by pos! 225 Fifth Ave will be glad Entered at the Pub ail Matter Printed by the Schwelaler Press, Address all correspondence to 225 Fifth Avenue JUDGE New York City