Judge — October 23, 1920 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Waggish Employer— Mistress What's your name? Maid—Minnie, mum. Mistress—Well, Minimum. if you'll only do the maximum of work, we'll get Boston Transcript Let me see! along nicely Right on the Job—“* Is vour new maid prompt in answering the doorbell?” Yes, indeed. She has a sweetheart newhere who sends her a special de livery letter every day."—Birmingham Age Herald. Least He Might Do—AMrs. Fusser Vm having trouble with the cook Algernon Mr. Fusser—Anything | can do? Mrs. Fusser—Certainly, Write the department of labor to send on a con iator without delay.—Buflalo Express Particularize—* How afternoons do you want out?” asked the lady of the applicant for a cook's position “Does you mean in the automobile: was the haughty reply Yonkers Statesman many Modern Conveniences—A suburban housewife relates overhearing this con- versation between her Cape girl and the one next door: “How are you, Katje?” “Lm well; [ like my job cremated cellar, cremated clastic lights and a hoosit.”” “What's a hoosit, Katje?” “Oh, a bell rings. You puta thing to your ear and say ‘Hello,’ and then some ‘one says ‘Hello,’ and you say ‘Hoosit Johannesburg (s We got plumbing, the Paid for [t—" Does your cook give you any impertinence? “No. She charges me ten dollars a week for it.” —Detroit Free Press A Mild Inducement—Il ife—What shall we say in our advertisement for a cook? Hub summer resort she may’ prefer Transcript y that we will take her to any Boston Object, Matrimony—A Philadel phia woman not long ago reached the conclusion that the attentions paid by the policeman of the beat to her cook must be investigated, lest they prove dis astrous to domestic discipline. So she sought out Mary and asked “Do you think the patrolman means business?” He shore Mary. “He’: my cooking.” does, mum,” answered begun to complain about Harper's: Mage The Inseparables Mars—Goon EVENING, GENTS, AN” IF ANY OF YOU SHOULD BF LOOKIN’ FOR TROUBL THE FUTURE, MEAN’ ME LITTLE BROTHER W BE Waitin’ oUTsIDE.—The Star (Lo 1s W orld’s Humor Conclusive Evidence—"Yes,” said the traveler, “I had an amusing journey up totown. There were two Scotsmen in the carriage.” “How do you know they were Scots men?” asked the cashier curiously. “By their accent, I suppose?” “No; you see, they both happened to take their pipes out together. Well, they filled them and then cach calmly waited for the other to strike a match. “Well, what happened?” “Oh, I brought out my pipe, so both of them Waited for my match.”—London Answers. Revised Version — Admittedly this may be an old story, but it has the dis tinction of possessing a new twist at the end. A person died. He willed all his earthly possessions to be divided among an Englishman, an Irishman and Scotchman. But the wil! was condi- tional: each of the legatees was to place five pounds in the testator’s coffin. On the day appointed (by Fate) the Englisiy man placed a five-pound note, as willed; the Irishman collected a number of coins somehow—shillings, sixpences and cop- pe und made up his contribution of five pounds, which he placed on the Eng lishman’s fiver. The Scotchman then made out a cheque for fifteen pounds and pocketing the ten pounds already de- posited, threw in his cheque with the re: mark. ‘That's easier.” A month later, when the Scotchman perused his pass-book, he was surprised to find that his cheque had been cashed The undertaker was Welshman London Sketch. comicbooks.com