Judge — September 11, 1920 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Quality First Boston Garter Kita GEORGE FROST CO., BOSTON. Velvet Grip Hose pporte: for Women, Misses and Children. On the Road “It must be me fatal resemblance kaiser,” declared old Jo Cose “What d'ye mean?" inquired Hazard to de old Hap ybody I meet invites me tc wood. Canceled I don’t understand Jack Why, dear? This morning 1 had a from him by mail, and twenty minutes ‘Disregard Letter. Based on informatie Exception “When a woman says one thing she generally means the opposite.” “Oh, I don't Wh & woman and she says ‘Yes’ she, generally know you propose to means it.” As It May Be The United States of Utopia The British-Gaclic Imperial Empire The Trotzsky of All the Russians The Untied States of Mexico. The Canned Germanic Get Highest Cash Prices ‘ jewelry, s (loose or mounted THE OHIO SMELTING & REFINING CO. 281 Lennox Bldg., Cleveland, Ohio CLIPPING It send you all ¢ OF per HENRY ROMEIKE, New York ! American Notes of My But- ler, Horatio Chutney By Roy K. Movtros H ‘ates the bally tram-cars H’in this dashed surprising land, Where the L’idies all get seated H’and the gents all ‘ave to stand. H ‘and the trine is beastly stuffy. H’and street nimes H’i cannot ‘ear As some bloomin’, blinkin’ blighter *As ‘is h'elbow h’in me h’ear. H’an Old Thing, ’e ‘as told mre That the Demon Rum is dead; That they took ‘im h’out and ‘it ‘im H’on ‘is h’old h’and sinful ‘ead. “Yes,” 'e says. “John Barleycorn was Quite h’an easy one to whip, ‘ H'and we've got the beggar walloped— We ‘ave got ‘im h’on the ‘ip.”” My sweet’eart is a lidy Hi'd ‘ave you h’understand When we h’are on the tup'ny bus, Hi cannot ‘old ‘er ‘and H’it’s diff’rent bin h’America Halong Fifth h’cavenoo. The blokes not only ‘old their ‘ands But ‘ug ‘em jolly, too. Now the h’idle working clawsses. They are crowding the cafés re blowing of their boodle H’in a thousand diff’rent ways. The h’aristocratic people Do not seem so dashed well-h’off, H’and the plutocratic plumber His the Pickadilly toff Hand such loads of sad reformers, Working h’in reli . Ili don’t want to g With the blokes that play that gime. Hi would rawther take my chawnces With some others H’i know well H’all the h’interesti Seem to be ce jon’s to ‘eaven ig people red to ‘ell My word! H’and ‘ow tridespeople Follow h’up their beastly bills Mand demand their measly money For their ‘ats h’and chops hand pills! ‘Ow they “ound the h’onest gentry For the p’yment h’on the spot H’it’s a barefaced, blinkin’ h’outrage H’and a lot of tommyrot H’and they say there’s gobs of money, More than h’ever ‘eretofore, H’and the way to wealth’s as h’open f you start h’out to find h’it You are riding for a fall. You will find, while there’s a-plen’ Someone h’else ‘as got it h’all. Some Folks Are Never Satisfied “Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup! “Well, what do you expect for a quarter—a humming bird?” at Desbrosses S and Hobday: BOOK ON DOG DISEASES And How to Feed Mailed free to any addreea by| the Author H. CLAY GLOVER CO., Inc., Dog Medicines }118 West 31st Street, New York Breaking the News Small Boy—Mother, there's a lady piazza knitting. Mother—Ves, dear. What of it? Small Boy—Hadn't I better tell her the war is over? on the You Know It improvement in the service back to private “Notice any since the telephones went ownership?” “Oh, yes don’t want to talk to to get you It’s twice as easy f Puffing Modesty “She's very domestic, isn’t she?” Oh, She smokes only in home.” yes. ker own Regarding Editorial, Subscription and Advertising Matter: ick Bide 225 item | hicago; Ienry 8 faring on the right fakes (rom ten days to two weeks t