Judge, 1920-08-28 · page 17 of 36
Judge — August 28, 1920 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge (appears early 20th century) contains several pieces of social satire: **"Stumped"** — A humorous poem about economic hardship. A working-class man repeatedly cannot afford basic necessities (steak, coal, clothing repairs), finally despairing that even dying is expensive. The satire targets cost-of-living crises and inflation affecting ordinary people. **"Diplomatic See-Saw"** — A cartoon showing a tailor and collector negotiating with a woman, illustrating class tensions and financial disputes. **"Pups and a Boy"** — A lighthearted rural poem about boys and dogs playing together, with no apparent political content. **"A Voice in the Wilderness"** — A cartoon mocking spiritualism (séances), showing someone frustrated trying to summon spirits by table-rapping, unable even to call a waiter—satirizing the era's spiritualist craze as useless. The remaining pieces ("He Ought to Know Better," "Betrayed Herself," "Can Speak for One Woman") are brief domestic humor anecdotes about marital misunderstandings. Overall, the page mixes economic anxiety commentary with contemporary social follies.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Diplomatic See-Saw Hh Stumped sked the butcher for some steak. Said he: “What cut, now, will you take? Here is the bottom of the round. The price is fifty cents a pound—” I looked him keenly in the ey And as I went he heard me sigh: “Tcan't afford it. My shovel scraped the coalbin floor. | dT: * got to have some more.” asked the price by telephone: he coal man’s answer made me groan: “It’s fourteen-fifty, sir, today: 1 murmured as I turned away: “Tcan't afford it.” My trouserloons were wearing through; A great big patch would never do. Thought I: “ The crisis is acute, I guess I'll have to have a suit.” But when the tailor named the price, Nay, I muttered —like that — twice “Tean’t afford it.” But how continue, then, to live? The cost is now prohibit And dying. too, is not so cheap For funerals just now cost a heap, Oh, what a puzzled wretch am I! I cannot live—I cannot die “Tean’t afford it.” —Semerville Journal. Pups and a Boy Some folks likes to go an’ see Circus shows—but as fer me Git some pups, then find a boy, An’ I'll git my, full share of joy! Pups theirselves, when they're Makes a circus all their ow Then just add a boy—an’ g They're a whole menagerie! Boy, he'll kind 0’ make p'tend He’s their oply livin’ friend; Then, first thing you know, he'll jist Give their tails a little twist. Holler! Gosh, but they'll git sore, Then come back to git some more, I've seen pups put up a bluff Like they'd never had enough Boy, he'll chase 'em all about Till their tongues is hangin’ out; Ketch ‘em where their necks is slack. Then—kerflop!—they're on their back! “Iv THE COLLECTOR FOR THE TAILOR CALLS, SEND HIM OVER —.4 Careta (Rio de J OVER THERE TO SEND MIM HER Oh, they'll snarl an’ fume an’ fuss. Till you'd swear you heard ’em cuss; ‘Then they'll sneak away an’ quit Like they'd got th’ worst, of it y, all tired, thinks he has won, But them pups ain’t never done; They just wait to ketch his grin, Then hop up an’ start agin! -Indiana polis A Voice in the Wilderness rs “T MARVEL HOW THESE SPIRITUALISTS CAN cat up Naroreox, Casar, ann Heaven KNOWS WHO ELS, BY SIMPLY RAPPING A TABLE. I'VE BANGED THIS TABLE FOR HALF AN HOUR ANDC AN’T EVEN CALL UP A WAITER.” —Klods Hans (Copenhagen), w lLert orpers XX TO THE OFFICE IT can’t suit Shopping—“I'm sorry you in dress goods.” “Well, the fact is,” said the lady, “that what I really want to buy is a re- frigerator. Detroit Free Press. He Ought to Know Better—There is no use trying to joke witha woman, The other day Jones heard a pretty good co- nundrum and decided to try it on his wife. “Do you know why Iam like a mule? ked her when he went home. No,” she replied promptly. “I know you are, but I dont know why you are —Boston Transcript. he Betrayed Herself—He looked despair ingly into vacancy. “T have had my misgivings.” he said, in a dull passionless voice, “ but now Lam sure. Your laugh shows me you are ut terly heartless.” She turned pale. “Heavens!” she cried in terror, “did 1 open my mouth as wide as that?"”—Stray Stories. Can Speak for One Woman—* One never knows what will please a woman.” “Oh, I wouldn't say that. In the ca of my wife anything beyond our means is sure to.” —Boston Transcript. (Continued on page 20) boo