Judge — August 14, 1920 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ny rrepressible, “OUT HOME WE HAVE A COW THAT sHIMMIES.”” “AM; THE ORIGINAL MILK SHAKE,’ —Cornell Widow And Then They Parted Philip—Toat fellow knows all around here worth knowing Phyllis—Really? Philip—Yes, do you know him? Phyllis—No.—Cornell Widow. the girls Bere Joyous, A Symposium “Yes,” said Methuselah as he lighted the three hundredth candle of his birthday cake, “the first hundred years are the hardest.” “Yes,” remarked the snob as he lifted his nose in the air, “the first hundred sneers are the hardes “Yes,” sobbed Jane Cowl as she wept pro- fusely on the leading man’s shoulder, “the first hundred te are the hardest.” “Do you think,” queried the drunkard as he ordered another round, “that the first hundred beer e the hardest?’ “Yes,” sighed the king as he wearily departed from the court reception, “the first hundred peers are the hardest.” “Oh, well,” said the butcher in a Chicago slaughter house, “the first hundred steers are the hardest.” “IT think,” whispered the student hoarsely at the end of a football game, “that the first hundred cheers are the hardest.” “Yes,” replied the winner of a corn husking bee, the “first hundred ears are the hardest.” Princeton Tiger. All in the Type Pat—Kinda—chilly——out—— here, —— don't —you——think? Patricia—Ye-e-s,—it is. Pat — Nowhowisthat? — Washington Dodger Sun “My! Waar a Prerry Linousixe!" —Carnegie Tech. Puppet Expectancy Butler—There is a man at the door, sir, who says he will work for nothing. The Sir—What does he want to do? Butler--Clean up the cellar, sir. —lowa Frivol. Embarrassing Query Our prof in geology Pulled a bone Yesterday. He said “Gentlemen, my hand Is on the hardest Rock known. He Scratched his head With his other hand And a bright stude Asked, “ Which hand. Sir?"—Yale Record. Yea, Bo She—The skirts are going to be much fuller this fall He—By George! they can’t be much fuller’n some I saw on the street today.—Mich igan Gargoyle. He'd Date With Her Tho “She'd make a good wife for anybody.” “Yes; but that isn’t the kind I want."—Jowa Fritol. = _—__ Li i dear, you don’t doubt me, , do you? | (Whereupon theexcited man Up to Her Old Tricks Skeptical Widower—Mary, is it really you? Spirit of Dead Wife—Yes, put his lighted cigarette in his pocket where the matches are. A strong sulpburous smell. in- vades the room. Violent heat in the region of his pocket.) Widower—It’s you, all right, Mary, but you've got your hard in the wrong pocket. My money’s in my other coat.— Yale Record. An Exception “The evolution theory,” said the professor, “is that we all came from monkeys.” “That's wrong,” said the She—Wny po you say MY LIPS ARE LIKE He—Tuey sHoutp Be PRessen. —Yate Record. 30 AN OLD CoAT? flea, biting him on his bald 1, ‘I came from a dog.” —Cornell Widow.